Up, Down, Up, Down, Up, Up, Down, Down

Sometimes I think I got my spiritual day figured out. I praise God for the day, then I tell myself that I won’t sin or fall into temptation. I plan my routes around temptation, and have all my escapes figured out in case I get in it. I’ve prayed and done my bible reading. But then, it can turn out to be the worse most undisciplined day of my life.

I sin, I cheat, I lie. I look at things I shouldn’t. I tempt others. I say regretful things. I let my emotions overwhelm me. I let my selfishness control my actions. What is up with me?

How can things make such a different turn in only a few hours? How is my Master going to say ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant’? I’m such a horrible steward of my body, emotions, mind, spirit, career, ministry, influences, and even the material things I have. Is ‘Perfect’ achievable?

I need to forget myself. Less of me and more of Him. More of the Holy Spirit’s power. Less of my strengths and strives.

I’m encouraged that even Paul says he’s not perfect. But instead he changes his attitude. He wants to look forward. To press on. I’ll have to keep praising God. And keep trying.


Philippians 3:7-14

I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done.  Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith.  I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!

 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.  No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,  I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Random Questions Tag

Is this another edition of the Doctorbutterfly Show? I’m not sure! But it is gonna be fun. Here are random questions I got from a trustworthy friend called The Internet.

1.) Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

I don’t have a closet. My drawer is closed, and my basket is open though.
2.) Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?

Nope. I’d like to take home the whole room though.
3.) Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

I like having my blanket tucked in. But my blankets not normally big enough. And sometimes, I don’t even want to use my blanket cuz it’s so hot. I mean, cuz I’m so hot.
4.) Have you ever stolen a street sign?

No. But I do like those convex street corner mirrors.
5.) Do you cut out coupons and then never use them?

I don’t cut out coupons. But I do use them.
6.) Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees?

Bears of course. They’re sooooo cuddly and….. ARGHHHPTHblek
7.) Do you always smile for pictures?

Nope. Only half the time.
8.) Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

Yes I do sometimes. Pfft. I’m not weird.
9.) Have you ever peed in the woods?

Probably.
10.) Do you still watch cartoons?

YES.
11.) Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

In my bra. Then you’d never find it. Cuz I don’t have a bra. I win. You lose.
12.) What do you drink with dinner?

Saliva
13.) What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

Fish nugget sauce. I have brought imbalance to reality as we know it. The world will end soon.
14.) What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

Cartoon movies? Comedy movies? I just watched Evolution again recently. And I still love it. It’s really genius.
15.) Were you ever a girl scout?

I’m not a girl~ Not yet a woman~
16.) Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

Ewwwwww… wait, will I get paid?
17.) Can you change the oil on your car?

Yes. But I shouldn’t.
18.) Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket?

I’d probably get a fine for being too slow actually.
19.) Afraid of heights?

Nope. But I am afraid of girls.
20.) Do you sing in the car?

Recently yes. I try to work out my screamo voice.
21.) Is Christmas stressful?

Nope.
22.) Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid.

Surgeon. Scientist. Soldier. Comedian. Radio host. Masked Rider.
23.) Do you believe in ghosts?

Yes. But they’re afraid of me because I have Jesus.
24.) The first concert you ever went to.

Planetshakers probably.
25.) Walmart, Target, or Kmart?

Walmart? Target? Kmart?
26.) Nike or Adidas?

Vans or Trucks?
27.) Can you curl your tongue?

I can make a ‘U’ shape.
28.) Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

I’ve cried from laughing. That counts right?
29.) The last concert you saw?

Why are you asking such tough questions! My brain is tired.
30.) Can you swim well?

No hahahaha =(
31.) Can you knit or crochet?

I can knot a cliche.
32.) Are you a dog person or a cat person?

I’m Batman!

Thanksgiving And Prayer for Malaysia

Paul has lots of good examples of prayer. So I’ll be using certain words in a blessing he wrote to the church of Colossae for my prayer for Malaysia. Colossians 1:3-14


God, I thank you that the church has started a movement to pray for Malaysia. That’s pretty cool. Intercessors covering this beloved country in prayer 24/7. Lord, I thank You for the confidence we can have, that we have a special place just for us in heaven and in eternal fellowship with You. No matter what, Your love and grace and mercy and word will reign.

I thank You that Your grace and good news is being spread through our local church to the world! That Malaysians can be part of praising You boasting of You to the world. I pray that the word of truth set people free and bear fruit by changing lives. Let Your word be heard and understood. Let there be a renewing of the mind so that transformation may take place in the lives of all Malaysians. And then to all the world.

Lord, please give all Malaysians complete knowledge of Your will. Open our eyes and ears to Your spiritual wisdom and understanding. Also, close connection to evil spirits in this land. May the way we live honor and please You. May our lives produce every kind of good fruit. Because all good fruit come from You. I pray that all Malaysians grow in You more and more each day. That each of us will grow into strong, healthy, fruitful trees.

Dear God, strengthen us through Your glory and power, so that we may have patience and endure what is to come. Teach us to be ever thankful, so that we may be filled with joy! Thank You that You enabled each of us, no matter who we are, to live pure and holy lives, so that we can share in the inheritance that belongs to all Your children. Because You sent Your son to die for each and every one of us. You sent Jesus, who has purchased us from all darkness and shame, forgave us of our sins, and transferred us into His Kingdom.

Thank You Lord for Malaysia. Though we need a lot more work and refining before we get anywhere close to a perfect country, Lord, do not forsake us. Guide us, hold us, mold us. And in the end, may Your Glory SHINE without fail from Malaysia. May we be a sweet incense and a pleasing music to You.

In Jesus name, Amen.

“Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been” – Relient K

I’m sorry for the person I became.
I’m sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I’m ready to be sure I never become that way again
’cause who I am hates who I’ve been.
Who I am hates who I’ve been.

Of Manna

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14 When the dew evaporated, a flaky substance as fine as frost blanketed the ground. 15 The Israelites were puzzled when they saw it. “What is it?” they asked each other. They had no idea what it was. And Moses told them, “It is the food the Lord has given you to eat. 16 These are the Lord’s instructions: Each household should gather as much as it needs. Pick up two quarts for each person in your tent.” 17 So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. 18 But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.

Exodus 16:14-18


I have a problem with this passage.

Not that there’s anything inaccurate or anything wrong that happened. It’s very logical and is probably a sound record of what happened.

My problem is with how I would respond if I was one of those Israelites. Let’s take a small step back and look at the context.

The Israelites, very recently left Egypt. God saved them from slavery and showed His mighty signs and wonders and power to show off to the world. Now, as they wander the desert, they realise they are hungry and will die soon. Then the Israelites did what they did best. Complain. God heard them of course. And gave them food. But God took the opportunity to build their faith. He likes to do that to His chosen peoples. He gave them food for the day that would rot next morning. God wanted to build their trust in Him. To know that He will provide for next day.

Moses gave a difficult instruction. Go outside and take how much food is needed for your family for the day. I would have taken more than enough. I mean, for survival. My family is hungry. I already feel bad for not being able to provide for my family. Nomads don’t farm. Also, there was ALOT food on the ground. It’s an amazing miracle. Enough to feed more than 1 million for the whole day. I’d say taking more is not selfish. And it’s more of a precaution. Based on past record, this has never happened in my life, what are the chances it will happen again tomorrow just because Moses said so?

But God wanted the Israelites to trust Him DAILY. But… But… How? How do you TOTALLY FULLY trust someone? How do you TOTALLY and FULLY trust God?

To be honest, I can’t say I have perfect trust in God. I still have a lot of things in life that I like to do my own way. I still like to be in control. I still want to plan ahead. And I still like to complain.

(Disclaimer: I’m not saying that being in control of your life or planning ahead is bad. But I am saying that complete trust in God does require us to let go of some of our fundamental trust in ourselves, people, rules, and even logic. That’s why I find it so hard.)

But I have been practicing. Here are two simple practical ways to try and work on your trust in God. It’s how I do it anyway.

Advice

Firstly, try being trustworthy to others. Try not promising too much, and try to remember and fulfill what you have promised. The more I do this, the more I find that I can’t trust myself. Yet I also find that I do like being trustworthy, honest, and respected. I realise that I need to have love for others to want to be trustworthy. And I also realise that people love you for being trustworthy. I’d say, trying to be trustworthy shows me a glimpse of what God wants to do for us and what He wants from us. That might make you trust God and appreciate His promises more.

Secondly, let God prove Himself. If God said so, let it be His challenge to Himself. If He longs for us to trust Him, He’ll prove Himself. I agree that a lot of things (like basic needs) may be too risky to trust an unseen being with. Well then, start small. Trust Him for the little things. Praying and trusting God for a good parking could be a good start. When you start to believe that God is trying to prove Himself to you, pick up a bible and claim a promise He made in the bible. He made a lot of promises. And none of them are small. God only makes bombastic promises. If it comes true, it should be proof enough.

Thirdly, you can ask for faith, I guess. Wait, didn’t I say I only have two advice? Yeah I did. Oh well, my third advice is to ask. I definitely have faith. But I definitely could have some more. I don’t think it’s possible for a human being (except Jesus) to have a perfect 100% faith or a perfect trust in God. Various people have various degrees of faith according to what God gives them (but even though we’ve been given different levels of faith, I still believe it is our responsibility to grow it). So God is pretty much still in control in the first place. He says that nothing is too trivial a task for Him, and no request is too big and ambitious. And if we can pray for a friend to have faith, why can’t we pray for ourselves to have faith? No harm asking.

Trust

‘Trust’ sounds like a passive action. Sounds like ‘wait’. But imagine in movies, the starring hero will tell the girl who is hanging out of a tumbling car to “trust me”. It means she has to let go of the car she has been hanging on to and trust the hero to grab her hand before she falls. Trust is a verb. You need to do something. The hardest part of holding on to the hero is letting go of the car. Do you have something you need to let go of for God to prove Himself?

Tumblethoughts

No Ragrets
philippians-413-tattoo

So I’ve considered getting tattoos. But I’ve never wanted any.

Mainly because I haven’t seen one that I’d like to see on me (but it’s not that I’ll get one the moment I see one that may look good on me). They’re normally too showy, and may cause too much reaction.. Or… too non-showy (or very hidey), and would defeat the purpose of having it. Also, I’d like to have a reason for having it. I mean, decor would be a good reason, but I don’t really ever wear anything or do anything to myself to look good (which is why I always look boring haha). A reminder may be a really good reason to have a tattoo. Maybe to remind me of a scripture verse like Phil 4:8. Maybe I could write something like “phil.iv.viii”. That may be cool to some degree. But another reason why I wouldn’t consider it is cuz I don’t want to make any decision I would regret later on. I want to practice making no ragrets decisions. Because practice makes perfect.

no-ragrets-tattoo


Church Prayer Meeting

Joey and I lead the CHURCH prayer meeting today. The church is trying to get the different ministries and cell groups to take turns leading the prayer meeting. So today it was the youth ministry’s turn. First time LEADING an ADULT activity, instead of teens or childrens service. And what made it MORE exciting is that we only knew about it yesterday morning. So for two days I was stressed and emotionally insecure. And in fact, I got pretty moody and wanted to pray LESS. But I had support and we were able to be a bit prepared. I had to help Joey find the right words and to process her thoughts into prayer items. She had to help me calm the heck down. I was having a hard time focusing on what’s important. But I could, eventually. Having friends do make a lot of difference.

The most exciting thing was that our worship leader didn’t know he was on duty to lead worship. I had faith that he’d turn up, so I didn’t make a call to double check till the very last minute. So I appointed myself to lead worship. So for five minutes (after the prayer meeting has started), a few things happened at the same time. I set up the guitar. Uncle Abot told me which songs he already had on powerpoint. Joey looked through the songsheets and songs which were on powerpoint to see if there are songs I’d like to use. I chose songs. Joey recruited Shen to play the keyboard as Shen entered the prayer hall. My brother had to type out the lyrics of my last song because it was not on the powerpoint. And I felt God’s leading during worship. Now that’s teamwork.

And prayer tonight turned out really really well. A lot weller than I expected. Joey lead two important prayer points. Firstly on Malaysia, our political state, and for disaster victims. Then on Israel, she had a verse that has been on her heart for a long time. She read the verse (choking back tears) and explained why Israel needs prayer. But Joey and I didn’t need to pray much. These adults who come are really real real intercessors. Boy, can they pray. They really know the current situations and how to pray for these things. Gosh I’m so shallow.

Alright so, if you are in KK, Sabah, Malaysia, and want to feel the presence of God and enter into His throne, you could come visit my church SIB Likas (E) in Likas. Wednesday nights, 8-9.30pm.


Currently Reading: ATLA – The Promise

ATLA - The Promise (1)

For those of you who know me. I really like the Avatar the Last Airbender cartoon. I’ve watched all the seasons. Really good story-telling. Fun, heart-wrenching, teeth-gritting, action-packed, adventurous, and really funny. But they’re not done yet. They’ve got comics (Graphic novels they called them, cuz it’s loooong) of Lost Adventures. Or maybe they’re just sequels. Whatever they are. It’s also really good. There are three sets, each with 3 novels (wiki says it’s ONE graphic novel in three parts). First set is in the pic above: The Promise. Second is called The Search, and third is called The Rift.

Oh yeah. Forgot to mention. I have it all in a public dropbox folder. So… if you are my friend, you can privately message me and ask me for the link.


I think that’s about it for today.

P.S. God I can’t thank You enough.