Where I Belong – Switchfoot


Feeling like a refugee
Like it don’t belong to me
The colors flash across the sky

This air feels strange to me
Feeling like a tragedy
Take a deep breath and close my eyes
One last time

Storms on the wasteland
Dark clouds on the plains again
We were born into the fight

But I’m not sentimental
This skin and bones is a rental
And no one makes it out alive

Until I die I’ll sing these songs
On the shores of Babylon
Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

Where the weak are finally strong
Where the righteous right the wrongs
Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

Feels like we’re just waiting, waiting
While our hearts are just breaking, breaking
Feels like we’re fighting against the tide

I wanna see the earth shaking
I wanna see a generation
Finally waking up inside

Until I die I’ll sing these songs
On the shores of Babylon
Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

Where the weak are finally strong
Where the righteous right the wrongs
Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

In a world where I belong

This body’s not my own
This world is not my own
But I can still hear the sound
Of my heart beating out
So let’s go boys, play it loud

On the final day I die
I want to hold my head up high
I want to tell you that I tried
To live it like a song

And when I reach the other side
I want to look you in the eye
And know that I’ve arrived
In a world where I belong

Where I belong

I still believe we can live forever
You and I we begin forever now
Forever now
I still believe in us together
You and I we’re here together now
Together now
Together now
Forever now
Forever now

p.s. Thanks Darian for sharing this

Falling Apart?



this shouldn’t be happening






Lord, you know I need you now.

only you understand what i’m going through.

i want to understand too.

teach me to trust in you.

teach me complete faith.



To All My Fellow Readers


What can we learn from this?

I learned that the more we dont understand, 

the more opportunity we get to trust in HIM.

its hard.

i’m going through this right now.

emotionally tough especially.

but how will i learn to trust in HIM otherwise?

how will i personally realise that i have no power over my own life?

and how will i come to the understanding that God has a great and mighty plan for my life if i dont surrender to HIM?



Leviticus 26


Reward for Obedience

 1 “‘Do not make idols or set up an image or a sacred stone for yourselves, and do not place a carved stone in your land to bow down before it. I am the LORD your God.

 2 “‘Observe my Sabbaths and have reverence for my sanctuary. I am the LORD.

 3 “‘If you follow my decrees and are careful to obey my commands, 4 I will send you rain in its season, and the ground will yield its crops and the trees of the field their fruit. 5 Your threshing will continue until grape harvest and the grape harvest will continue until planting, and you will eat all the food you want and live in safety in your land.

 6 “‘I will grant peace in the land, and you will lie down and no one will make you afraid. I will remove savage beasts from the land, and the sword will not pass through your country. 7 You will pursue your enemies, and they will fall by the sword before you. 8 Five of you will chase a hundred, and a hundred of you will chase ten thousand, and your enemies will fall by the sword before you.

 9 “‘I will look on you with favor and make you fruitful and increase your numbers, and I will keep my covenant with you.10 You will still be eating last year’s harvest when you will have to move it out to make room for the new. 11 I will put my dwelling place[a] among you, and I will not abhor you. 12 I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people. 13 I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt so that you would no longer be slaves to the Egyptians; I broke the bars of your yoke and enabled you to walk with heads held high.

Punishment for Disobedience

 14 “‘But if you will not listen to me and carry out all these commands, 15 and if you reject my decrees and abhor my laws and fail to carry out all my commands and so violate my covenant, 16 then I will do this to you: I will bring upon you sudden terror, wasting diseases and fever that will destroy your sight and drain away your life. You will plant seed in vain, because your enemies will eat it. 17 I will set my face against you so that you will be defeated by your enemies; those who hate you will rule over you, and you will flee even when no one is pursuing you.

 18 “‘If after all this you will not listen to me, I will punish you for your sins seven times over. 19 I will break down your stubborn pride and make the sky above you like iron and the ground beneath you like bronze. 20 Your strength will be spent in vain, because your soil will not yield its crops, nor will the trees of the land yield their fruit.

 21 “‘If you remain hostile toward me and refuse to listen to me, I will multiply your afflictions seven times over, as your sins deserve. 22 I will send wild animals against you, and they will rob you of your children, destroy your cattle and make you so few in number that your roads will be deserted.

 23 “‘If in spite of these things you do not accept my correction but continue to be hostile toward me, 24 I myself will be hostile toward you and will afflict you for your sins seven times over. 25 And I will bring the sword upon you to avenge the breaking of the covenant. When you withdraw into your cities, I will send a plague among you, and you will be given into enemy hands. 26 When I cut off your supply of bread, ten women will be able to bake your bread in one oven, and they will dole out the bread by weight. You will eat, but you will not be satisfied.

 27 “‘If in spite of this you still do not listen to me but continue to be hostile toward me, 28 then in my anger I will be hostile toward you, and I myself will punish you for your sins seven times over. 29 You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters. 30 I will destroy your high places, cut down your incense altars and pile your dead bodies on the lifeless forms of your idols, and I will abhor you. 31 I will turn your cities into ruins and lay waste your sanctuaries, and I will take no delight in the pleasing aroma of your offerings. 32 I will lay waste the land, so that your enemies who live there will be appalled. 33 I will scatter you among the nations and will draw out my sword and pursue you. Your land will be laid waste, and your cities will lie in ruins. 34 Then the land will enjoy its sabbath years all the time that it lies desolate and you are in the country of your enemies; then the land will rest and enjoy its sabbaths. 35All the time that it lies desolate, the land will have the rest it did not have during the sabbaths you lived in it.

 36 “‘As for those of you who are left, I will make their hearts so fearful in the lands of their enemies that the sound of a windblown leaf will put them to flight. They will run as though fleeing from the sword, and they will fall, even though no one is pursuing them. 37 They will stumble over one another as though fleeing from the sword, even though no one is pursuing them. So you will not be able to stand before your enemies. 38 You will perish among the nations; the land of your enemies will devour you. 39 Those of you who are left will waste away in the lands of their enemies because of their sins; also because of their fathers’ sins they will waste away.

 40 “‘But if they will confess their sins and the sins of their fathers—their treachery against me and their hostility toward me, 41 which made me hostile toward them so that I sent them into the land of their enemies—then when their uncircumcised hearts are humbled and they pay for their sin, 42 I will remember my covenant with Jacob and my covenant with Isaac and my covenant with Abraham, and I will remember the land. 43 For the land will be deserted by them and will enjoy its sabbaths while it lies desolate without them. They will pay for their sins because they rejected my laws and abhorred my decrees. 44 Yet in spite of this, when they are in the land of their enemies, I will not reject them or abhor them so as to destroy them completely, breaking my covenant with them. I am the LORD their God. 45But for their sake I will remember the covenant with their ancestors whom I brought out of Egypt in the sight of the nations to be their God. I am the LORD.’”

 46 These are the decrees, the laws and the regulations that the LORD established on Mount Sinai between himself and the Israelites through Moses.

What Breaks Yours?

I Think Everyone Cries



but the definition of a person with a GREAT BIG HEART

is WHAT makes him/her cry


i think you have a GBH.

i saw it where i never used to.

i thought you were the very spoilt-by-parents type.

i was wrong.

and i fell in srolan.




My Grandmom



is currently residing in Queen Elizabeth hospital.

she has been for a while now.

maybe a month or so.

since an asthma attack.


she’s so weak now.

she can barely talk or sit straight.

no way she can stand and walk.

but she’s so optimistic.

so much that it makes me want to cry.

she says “take these tubes off”

and she tries to scratch and pull the tubes attached to her arm off herself.

she says

“where is my son?”

“he’ll take me home today”

“i’m okay, i can rest at home”

my mom and others were trying to convince her that the hospital is the best place for her now but she still insists.

when asked “how will you go to the toilet then?”

she replies saying that she would walk.

but she can barely even sit.

her leg muscles are all so flabby for not using em too long.

i’m saddened by her optimism.

i’m also happy that she is optimistic.




Men Will NEVER Be TRULY Faithful



i have a good friend.

she doesnt believe in faithful husbands or boyfriends.

this saddens me.

she tells me stories of her uncles or relatives and friends who are just so unfaithful.

and how the women bear with it.

they know what is going on,

yet they keep an eye shut to “maintain a good relationship”.

this really really saddens me.

you men.

ruining the image of other men.

like me.



i do know of good men.

good Christians even.

even people i look up to

who have fallen.


we are weak.

i am the weakest of them all.


this is a weakness.

not a characteristic that we all have.

no. we were NOT born to fail our spouses.

we don’t WANT to fail our spouses.

Me. I. Aaron Heng. do NOT want to fail my spouse.

and i’m trying to do that even now.

i’m saving myself.

for her.


it is sad to think that in this world, there is so much of… whats the word…


as if the only truth we can learn is from television.

that men are




and only the lucky girls win.


thats crap.

and that crap saddens me.


God didn’t create the world to be like that.

we made it like that ourselves.

lets confess of our mistakes.

and watch less dramas.

and make it a better place.

for you and for me

and the entire human race.



Why You Never


apologize one oh?





I Love My Country!


Happy Malaysia Day! 

Happy 48th Birthday!

did i get the age right? hahaha




I Ran


my recent big hooha is my sudden disappearance from facebook.

after ten days. today. on Malaysia Day.

i returned haha.

i wonder how many people missed me.


so what did i learn from this abstinence?

i learned that i could survive very well without Facebooking.

yea i could.


what else did i learn?

i learned that i need to face my problems instead of run away.

which is what i did on FB.

something bugged me greatly. and i feared that i would make rash decisions.

so i hid. ran. poof. disappeared.


i’m pretty good at prediction outcome.

i have a weird gift.

but i need to face my challenges even if i knew it would turn out bad.

i’m a thinker.

i think.

i calculate all the chances of each possibilities happening.

i dig all aspects from different point of view.

i also think TOO MUCH.

this makes me hurt.

especially when what im thinking about are my friends.

close friends.

very close friends.


But i must understand that God put them there to build me up.

i cant just run away.

even if it will hurt.

even if it will hurt a lot.

I still thank God though.


i didnt hurt that much.

i have awesome friends.

especially close friends.

who feel differently about me.





Classic Literature


“It is a challenging thought, and one that should be closely observed by those who are preparing for a life of service for God, that our divine Lord spent six times as long working at the carpenters bench as He did in His world-shaking ministry. He did not shrink the hidden years of preparation. Preparatory years are important years. Jesus must be about His Father’s business and doing His Father’s will. If that will involved eighteen hidden, laborious, tedious years, He would not succumb to fleshly impatience, but would obey with delight… Although we may not be able to emulate Him in His gracious ministry, it is open to us to follow Him in a life of faithful though perhaps hidden work. Like our Master, we can ‘do all to the glory of God’.”


– J. Oswald Sanders, The Incomparable Christ, 1952