Compulsively Macho


Manly Men


i dislike it when people look down on me because i dont have ‘experience’ in a romantic relationship. that i dont have a say and i cant give advice to them because i’m a loser and a coward.

it’s true that experience teaches us things and we learn from it first-hand, but that doesn’t mean that we can take relationship lightly and try just because we can try again later if it doesnt work out.

(plus, honestly, all we need to know is actually written in the bible =O)

there are a few really Godly manly men that i look up to. where i see no hanky panky liquidity in relationships. no changing girlfriends because ‘each girlfriend will teach him something new about life’.

i believe these men choose to save that place in their heart for the best. and once they have chosen the best, they keep her. they work towards a closer relationship. and they fight and struggle to keep it going.

no giving up. no giving excuses.


what sort of man will you STRIVE to be?




a manly man.

that’s what John is.

happy birthday.





so i didnt get to finish my words towards Nazar the other day about him being an awesome friend in my life.


there was one important point that i didnt get to mention.

the ungood thing about his compulsive behavior is that he will do things without thinking of the costs.

sometimes, he doesnt even think about how it would cost and effect people around him.


but that is also the best quality about being compulsive.

he reminds me that we need to be compulsive christians.

you know, when i told him i was sick, he straight away put his arm around my shoulder and prayed an earnest prayer for my healing.

in another time, all i did was share my concerns about school and that launched him into a prayer for me again.

i see him praying for people all the time.

how often do we see this?

i call myself a christian, yet, all i do is promise people that i will pray for them.

but what i really did was promise that i might pray for them because i may just forget.

im totally guilty of this.

why dont i just pray for that somebody in public right on the spot?

i care about the cost of people seeing me doing it in public. i get shy. which i shouldnt.

i care about the words i use. i fear i make a fool of myself. which i shouldnt.



lets learn to be Compulsive Christians.

compulsive to care and love for people no matter the material, the emotional, the social, or the convenience costs.



Love and Care

It is more costly  NOT to




Emotional Emotions


i may not like to show it, but i do feel very emotional over girls. i’ve told some of my closest friends that i’m a bit like samson in the bible. my biggest weakness is girls. not the female species in general… though… they also have a larger influence on me. but especially my peers. how they feel, what they think, and what they want really has an affect over me. those of you who know me well should know this already. i do, yes i do, try to impress girls a lot. but i’ve been training not to. being good and nice to girls is one thing. but doing it to gain attention and impression is not that good. anyways i hate the emotions that come with paying so much attention and energy into girls. i hate that its a roller coaster ride all the time. it goes up up up slowly, then it pauses up there for a short while, then it plunges down and it struggles a while to go up up up again. girls can easily make me very very happy. but they also make me super super sad very very quickly. in fact, i hate it when i assume that they are not happy with me. sometimes the actions a friend makes really makes me think and debate with myself hard and long when honestly it was nothing but a mere wrong choice of ONE word. i hate it when i feel like killing myself every time they get mad at me for doing something wrong. and i also dislike it when they do something wrong but expects me to understand that they had no choice or they were confused or they were not properly informed or i would have done the same thing. it saddens me the most when i pluck up all the courage in my body, soul, and spirit to tell a girl something that i know they wont want to hear, but needs to, and they get upset with me anyways. u know, if i love you, i will treat you like my sister. i will be honest. if i treat you like my sister. you can bet i love you. but that also means that i will see it as my duty to intrude into your comfortable life to tell you what i think you need to hear because your dad, mom, siblings, besties, and boyfriends won’t tell you. they won’t tell you because you will feel uncomfortable, you will be upset, and you will react. and no one wants to have you upset with them because we all like a ‘happy’ family. i dislike it when i regret after telling you you’re wrong. i dislike the feeling of rejection that you consciously or unconsciously exhibit towards me. i dislike it when i feel unsure of myself. should i have? did i do the right thing? did i say it right? should i apologize? should i elaborate further to prevent misunderstanding? hmmm. what am i really trying to say? is it only the way a girl reacts to my acts of goodwill that affects my emotions? nah. but this is one fine example of how much i think about nothing. and it goes round in an unrelated track of thought.  well. i’m sleepy and this is how my brain train of thought flows. have a good day sirs. i pray that you rock your world like you’re supposed to. i may continue my train of thought on this topic later on. or i may not.



Wong? WRONG!

Meet Mr. Wrong


Mr. Wrong does everything wrong. He tends to do everything in his life the wrong way. He even walks the wrong way! One day he meets Mr. Right, a person who looks like him but does everything right. Mr. Right tries to teach his new friend how to be right, but everything goes wrong!



p.s. i did not just make this character up.



it felt like everything decided to go wrong today.


1# Spent a whole day researching, downloading files for research, and more researching.

but i’m only done with my intro! RRRRRRRRRRRRRR

2# Baaaaaad time management. Barely arrived to cell group on time.

Good thing one guy couldnt make it, or else i’d be like… 15mins late. or more.

3# Then i tried to tune the guitar. The tuner thingy broke. Guitar unusable.

Thank God for another guitar upstairs. It took alot of running and waiting. But i got it.

4# I banged another car today. I hit a stationary car, while i was reversing.

That place was a neighborhood area, and the car was parked to the side so it was technically making my van have very little space to maneuver.

It was definitely my fault cuz i didnt see that car behind me.

Good thing the damage was a lot less than the noise it created.

5# some people were really slow in setting up the room for our worship. sigh.

i felt like i had to do EVERYTHING MYSELF.



But then Mr Right came and brought peace.

He does that alot, since he’s the Prince of Peace and all.


6# Want to continue my assingment now. i’m sleepy.




The Return of the Elycia


so there’s this girl in my life…

and she’s….



oh yesssss


she’ll be returning from National Service Camp that lasts 3 months.

i’m so happy hahaha.



she’s cute, she says stuff like this.

yes. that post generated more than hundred views.

and a lot of likes from facebook.

yes you can “like” xanga posts with your facebook.




you know.

i’m not sure if i have cut my hair since this post


hmmm. did i?


i need a haircut.



Well Accessorized Animal

Your Wife?



Proverbs 11:22 says, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman without discretion.” According to this truism, a woman with a hot body and no discretion regarding to whom she shows it is nothing more than a well-accessorized animal. This explains why the women men lust after are not the kind of women they would marry, because pigs are fun to roll around and get dirty with but you’d never want one sitting next to your mother for holiday dinners.




currently reading an e-book about porn and masturbation.

really really good.

eye opener.

you could download it here.

you can also read it online at that same website.

its free!



this book is meant for men only.

sorry females.

it would be good info and advice for you girls too,

but i honestly suggest you don’t read this.


unless your husband asks you to.



Hero. Hero?



i read about Samson this morn.

Judges 13-14


but chapter 14 is so exciting in itself.

so much inside.

so much to learn as well.



Mistake #1


One day when Samson was in Timnah, one of the Philistine women caught his eye.

When he returned home, he told his father and mother, “A young Philistine woman in Timnah caught my eye. I want to marry her. Get her for me.”

His father and mother objected. “Isn’t there even one woman in our tribe or among all the Israelites you could marry?” they asked. “Why must you go to the pagan Philistines to find a wife?”

But Samson told his father, “Get her for me! She looks good to me.”


God had a strict policy for the Israelites when He helped them conquer the promised land.

of course you know, they weren’t allow to intermarry with the philistine people.

However, one thing Samson DID do right, is that he asked his parents to arrange his marriage.

in the olden times, marriages were arranged by parents.

you were’t supposed to fall in love with a girl and woo her and bring her home to your parents.



Samson was stubborn and WANTED to marry this philistine even though his parents disagreed.

and even though it was against the law.


you know, im starting to see the logic of why we should let our wise, experienced and Godly parents do the choosing. 



Mistake #2


As Samson and his parents were going down to Timnah, a young lion suddenly attacked Samson near the vineyards of Timnah.

At that moment the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him, and he ripped the lion’s jaws apart with his bare hands. He did it as easily as if it were a young goat. But he didn’t tell his father or mother about it.

When Samson arrived in Timnah, he talked with the woman and was very pleased with her.

Later, when he returned to Timnah for the wedding, he turned off the path to look at the carcass of the lion. And he found that a swarm of bees had made some honey in the carcass.

He scooped some of the honey into his hands and ate it along the way. He also gave some to his father and mother, and they ate it. But he didn’t tell them he had taken the honey from the carcass of the lion.


 what he DID right?

he killed a lion with his bare hands! like DUH

how could that be wrong?


what he did wrong?

imagine scooping something from a dead body.

and giving it to people to eat.

that is just wrong.


2nd wrong.

He was born nazirite.

well, in their culture.

they’r not supposed to be touching any dead carcasses.

for good reason too i believe.


aiyo. this guy ah.



Mistake #3


As his father was making final arrangements for the marriage, Samson threw a party at Timnah, as was the custom for elite young men.

When the bride’s parents saw him, they selected thirty young men from the town to be his companions.

Samson said to them, “Let me tell you a riddle. If you solve my riddle during these seven days of the celebration, I will give you thirty fine linen robes and thirty sets of festive clothing.

But if you can’t solve it, then you must give me thirty fine linen robes and thirty sets of festive clothing.”

“All right,” they agreed, “let’s hear your riddle.”

So he said:

“Out of the one who eats came something to eat;
    out of the strong came something sweet.”

Three days later they were still trying to figure it out.


What Samson did right?

he made his riddle RHYME IN ENGLISH.

ohhh yeahhhhh

thats the way to make Hebrew riddles.


What did he do wrong?

well. general rule for riddles:

It has to be GUESSABLE.

samson was referring to the honey he took from the carcass of the lion.

how were they supposed to know that?

what does this make Samson?


he deliberately wanted to cheat them.



Mistake #4


So before sunset of the seventh day, the men of the town came to Samson with their answer:

“What is sweeter than honey?
    What is stronger than a lion?”

Samson replied, “If you hadn’t plowed with my heifer, you wouldn’t have solved my riddle!”

Then the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon him. He went down to the town of Ashkelon, killed thirty men, took their belongings, and gave their clothing to the men who had solved his riddle. But Samson was furious about what had happened, and he went back home to live with his father and mother.

So his wife was given in marriage to the man who had been Samson’s best man at the wedding.


What Samson did right:

He kept his word and paid the men for answering it right. hmmm…


what he did wrong:

he went home.

the wedding ceremony wasnt finished.

the marriage wasnt completed by consummation.

ah. consummation. a new term for me.

go google define it yourself haha.

anyways. because of that, his dad gave his wife to his best man.

later claiming that he thought Samson would have hated his wife for betraying his answer.




Samson was a sinner.

such a sinner.

yet God used him in extremely mighty ways.

(which i will later find out)


I’m a sinner.

just like samson.


aren’t we all?