Mellow?

So Recently

 

I haven’t been able to sleep well. I’ve had a non-stop runny-nose. I can’t think straight. I get disappointed with myself for silly little things. I’ve had a problematic stomach. I can’t be bothered to be productive. My right ear hurt. I take afternoon naps (now that’s extreme). I miss my friends. I get tired easily. I start every sentence with the word “I”. I’m even writing in a proper sentence structure with grammar and punctuation. Oh man, this is bad. Maybe it’s the haze.

So if you haven’t heard, Xanga is going to make some major changes. It’s either going to just close down entirely, or revamp Xanga through the WordPress engine to Xanga 2.0 or something like that. Actually I’m not too sure about what’s going to happen. But I do know that it’s going to affect me. Because I like it here.

I’m really going to miss this place. It’s been a fun ride. Just blabbering my thoughts to the public world and expecting the world to respond. I also use this place as a motivation to read. Thought that maybe if I read more, I had more to share about. It worked. This blog motivated me to think deep. This blog motivated me to think deep yet express and present it in a fun and acceptable manner. This blog allowed me to express my thoughts about controversial issues. Why do I sound like I’m writing a eulogy? Maybe because this place has been a part of me for such a long time. This is definitely an emotional attachment.

Either way, whether Xanga closes or whether it stays alive with 2.0, I’ve decided that I will take my thoughts and words and express it through WordPress. I’ve created an account (don’t try to guess my username or look for it) there in the past in the hopes of creating a formal blog where I could maybe write teachings or devotionals. More serious stuff instead of my usual messy thought-diarrhea’s. But I guess I’m just going to move there because this ship may sink/upgrade.

 

Dear XangaTeam,

It’s been a great journey. Hope you do great in your future endeavors.

God bless.

 

Die, Self, DIE!

To Do List

 

for those of you who don’t know,

i’m currently on “menganggur” mode and am still searching for a job.

(btw, i took a degree in business administration. a little self promotion here. i need a job!)

but i was thinking,

i’m really not trying hard enough to find that job.

 

“why?” thunked you.

 

good kusiton.

well honestly,

i have this to-do list that i want done before i get this job, see?

and it’s like, i’m just a(teeny)bit lazy to get those stuff done.

which means, i cant get that job yet.

or else i’ll have a job,

without

things

done.

=O

 

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Doing God’s Will

 

you know,

We Christians like to say things we don’t understand.

 

wow.

i should start every blog post with that sentence haha.

 

for example,

“Not my will, but Your will be done.”

or

“We should desire only one thing, God’s will.”

 

ok fine, those aren’t my “examples” per se. (what does “per se” mean anyways? HAHA)

they’re actually what i’ll be using to get my point across.

 

so lets dissect these sentences.

they focus on importance of God’s will.

and the death of our own will.

 

that’s actually good. in a way.

but. God gave us a will.

shouldn’t we be using it?

 

well.

i have an opinion.

Permission to speak, sir!

 

…too bad, you don’t have a choice.

 

See, God has a plan for each of us.

 

but (again), He doesn’t Force us to do it.

WE have to USE our will to CHOOSE His will.

God DID give us a will for a reason.

 

 

in the new testament, Paul mentions about dying to ourselves.

(he wasnt talking about physical death)

but i don’t think he meant that ALL our dreams and passions are evil.

and i don’t think that if we have desires outside of what God says in the bible, we’re sinners.

 

King Solomon wrote this in Proverbs 16:3

Commit your actions to the Lord,
    and your plans will succeed.

 

wait.

did you say

MY actions?

MY plans?

what happened to “i ONLY do the will of God“?

 

God gave men creativity.

God gave us a will to decide between possibilities.

I believe that God plants seeds of different passion, desires, skills, and abilities inside us WAAAAAY before we were even planted into our moms.

 

So how can our desires and dreams be bad?

well, it can.

if it’s not dedicated to the Lord.

Also, it can be bad if God has obviously told you to do something else.

sheesh.

 

 

Lesson #1

How to make our plans and desires right and beautiful?

 

firstly,

you need time.

more specifically, anything you call Now.

even if it’s later, “now” will still mean “now”. so don’t worry about that.

secondly,

you need a means of communication with God.

more specifically, anything you call Pray.

anywhere. don’t worry about which direction to look. don’t worry bout credit limit either.

thirdly,

you need to be honest.

Just tell Him you want your desires and dreams to be from Him.

He’ll actually slowly show you:

Which dreams are from Him,

which passions are from other un-good places,

and which plans are just up to us to decide.

 

 

So remember kids,

we do have a choice;

We always have and always will.

and many-a-times, our will is also God’s will planted into us.

we just have to be focused to see it.

and aware that we might get it wrong all the same.

 

 

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P.S.

 

“thunked”

is the past tense of 

“thunk”

is the past tense of

“think”

 

 

I’m Sexy And I Know It

 

What is beautiful?

Who decides?

 

People try to be honest with me and tell me that I need to dress better…

which is a very polite way of saying that I look bad (unbeautiful.. erm ugly?).

thanks guys. i appreciate your politeness.

 

i’m not offended or anything.

cuz if you DIDNT tell me, you’d be a bad friend. haha.

cuz i think i’m super handsome.

and if no one told me, then… well. then i’d be looking bad alot.

 

but you know,

who decides?

who decides that that thin girl on the billboard is sexy?

who’s to say what’s stylish or popular?

 

God tells me that I’m beautiful.

He tells me that you’re beautiful.

 

But is He right?

Is He the one who decides?

if He is, why am I not on the cover of magazines?

why are you not hired for commercials?

 

weird huh?

 

 

Is It A Choice To Choose?

#1

Don’t let them call you a ‘bimbo’. You’re nerdy enough for me.

 

#2

God wants us to CHOOSE to love Him. He’s not gonna MAKE us.

 

 

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Do We HAVE To Die?

 

over the centuries, people have always wanted to have control.

people have always wanted to be able to choose neverdeath. err… immortality. i meant.

 

there are many natural things in life that we don’t have a choice about.

like, firstly, of course, death.

life? yes. we do have a choice between life or no life.

but death? it’s a must. it’s a certainty. it’s adhering to the laws of nature and science.

also, we don’t have a choice but to be governed by the laws of physics… like gravity. and space. and time.

thirdly, we don’t get to choose our biology. i’m not a dolphin. and my dad is not Eminem. I don’t have a choice.

and, another thing we don’t get to choose, this is a big one, is CHOICE.

 

God gave us a will to make decisions.

God gave us the free will to choose anything for ourselves.

but not only that.

EVERYTHING. Requires. A Choice.

we HAVE to make a decision.

 

To agree with something, a choice.

To disagree, a choice.

To be ignorant, a choice.

To accept a fact, a choice.

To doubt it, a choice.

To act on it, a choice.

To let it go, a choice.

To complain, a choice.

To face it, a choice.

To walk the easy path, a choice.

To walk the road less taken, a choice.

To go with the flow, a choice.

To dare to be ridiculed, a choice.

To practice, a choice.

To procrastinate, a choice.

To be all round pessimistic, a choice.

To be joyful and thankful, a choice.

To be disobedient, a choice.

To trust, a choice.

To harbor anger, a choice.

To love, a choice.

 

you know, everything comes down to what we choose.

even when situations are out of control, it’s how we respond that counts.

even if everyone disagrees, if my conscience tells me it’s right, i still have to choose.

 

this is what determines character.

 

ask yourself:

do you make your own decisions?

or do you let your mood, situations or environment dictate your choices?

 

i’m not saying it’s easy to develop character.

in fact, that’s what problems are for; to help us grow.

when we make a choice to face a problem head on, we overcome something that we can never overcome if we don’t make the difficult decision.

problems and difficulties are like mirrors, they reveal a side of you that you’ve never been able to see by yourself.

also, if we don’t deal with this problem, it’ll always seem to keep appearing.

just like looking into a new and different mirror.

no matter how many new and different problems you’re gonna face, if the previous flaw in self has not been dealt with, you’ll see the same flaws show in the new and different mirrors.

the same issue will occur.

so choose to deal with it.

 

i can’t say i’m super holy.

just like obedience and holiness is a choice,

disobedience and sin is also a choice.

i have to say (honestly), i choose to sin and be disobedient all the time.

let me give you a very innocent example from my own life.

if someone is late for a meeting that i’m chairing, i get mad!

i choose to let my emotions rule over my actions.

cuz it’s downright easy to do.

but, you wanna know what’s the Most Difficult thing to do when someone makes me angry?

choose keep a joyful face, forgive, and continue to live life the best i can without making the situation worse.

you know, that’s just too difficult to do!

that’s just crazy.

 

but God’s all about crazy isn’t He?

 

 

Will the Judgement Day look like this? prolly not… 

 

we hear people talk about the JUDGEMENT DAY all the time.

 

but I tell you the truth, brothers, Judgement day is not about fire and brimstone raining from the sky.

judgement, is when God weighs our character and compares it with Jesus’ character.

and our character is built on choices we’ve made.

 

 

let’s make the right choices.

 

 

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The Book Of Proverbs

 

is a super good book to start reading about choices.

making wise and productive and efficient choices.

in fact, the bible talks all about choices.

 

anyways,

let’s take making the right choices seriously.

 

 

I’m A Man Now!

Really Tiny Update Of Life In Point Form

 

– I’ve just graduated from a 3months bible course in Tung Ling Seminary

– I’ve just emailed my first resume in my life

– I’m on season 3 of Fringe, a tv series. Like a scientific version of The X-files

 

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Not As Tiny (Obligatory) Message Of Appreciation In Centered Paragraph

 

Greetings fellow earth-fellows. I’m very encouraged that my blog is being visited by humans from all over this humanity. I’ve got readers from California, France, New Jersey, Georgia (wait… those are both in the US right?), Ontario, Poland, New Jersey, Arizona, UK, Ukraine, and especially from Malaysia! I hope you guys are actually real human beings and not bots created to visit blogs to make bloggers feel good.

Thanks all for reading! I’m at your humble service.

  

 

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 Even Less Tiny Sharing Of Personal Observation With Intention Of Provoking Self-Evaluation And Possible Change Resolve Among Readers

 

Proverbs 12:14

A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his mouth,
And the recompense of a man’s hands will be rendered to him.

 

 

you know,

i’ve honestly never really associated the word “fruit” and “mouth”

like the way i associate the words “fruit” and “hands”

 

i know that good works bear good fruit.

but why did it not occur to me that good words would too?

 

whatever the reason, this reminds me that we need to be careful with words.

our words really have the power to build up or destroy.

 

and you know, if i REALLY think about it,

words affect three categories of people.

1. the person you’re talking to

2. the person who’s talking

3. the person who’s not listening nor talking (yes everyone else in this whole world)

 

yes. the things we say do affect ourselves and also hurt others who were not even involved in the conversation.

how? usually not directly, i guess.

think about it.

but it’s there.

 

our mouths can bear bad fruit.

our mouths can bear good fruit.