I Really REALLY Want To Kiss You Right Now

Exerpted from How to Date with No Regrets by Debra K. Fileta, from True Love Dates

 

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

There is probably no other phrase that can get a heart to flutter more. To some, a kiss is just a kiss, but in reality it’s so much more. Being so closely connected to someone through the touching of lips — it’s a moment of vulnerability, of intimacy, of trust. It’s the moment when two hearts connect through the avenue of the physical.

“But I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he went on to say.

It was late November. The beauty of fall had dissolved into the cold dark evenings of winter. John and I were hanging out at his apartment on a Sunday afternoon, watching a football game. It was about five months after we had met, and our friendship was budding into a dating relationship.

I can’t tell you what game was on or who won, because the entire two hours, I was trying to figure out what to do with the strong feelings that I had for him. I was falling for him hard, and everything within me was hoping he would just lean over and give me a kiss. Some sort of sign that we were on the same page.

The funny thing is that I thought I was acting pretty nonchalant. It’s not like I was staring into his eyes with my lips puckered. But somehow he saw right through me. The other day, while we were reminiscing about that moment, he told me that my eyes had said it all; it had been obvious that I wanted him to kiss me.

His response? Not yet.

I was floored. In my experience, it was rare to meet a young man who would turn down a kiss. Don’t get me wrong, I know of some people who saved their first kiss for marriage. I respect and admire their self-control. But it wasn’t something I was accustomed to.

So what does a kiss have to do with dating with no regrets? Everything.

One of the hardest things about dating is learning to live beyond the moment.

Caught up in the whirlwind of passion, it’s so easy to choose what feels good without considering how that choice will affect the future. It’s easy to live for the moment, isn’t it?

Choosing to eat that chocolate bar staring at you from the vending machine when you’re trying to kick extra calories. Choosing to watch that movie on TV that caught your attention when you should be studying for your chemistry test. Living for the here and now might not cause major damage every time, but choosing immediate gratification in your dating relationships is a recipe for regret.

I learned a lot about dating upward from John. Looking back on my dating history, I definitely have regrets, but he can honestly tell you that he doesn’t have many. You see, his goal never was simply to snag a date; it was to honor God and draw closer to him throughout all of his interactions with me. He was willing to say no to what he wanted for the sake of what was holy.

One of the biggest mistakes Christians make is to believe that holiness has anything to do with religiousness. When we think of becoming more like Jesus, our minds go immediately to “the spiritual.” I find myself getting caught in this trap too, believing that becoming more like Jesus means more prayer, more church services, and more ministry activity.

Though we do come to understand Jesus’ heart through such activities, I think we miss much of what it means to become like Jesus when we fail to honor him through ordinary, day-to-day things. Like it or not, if we compartmentalize our lives into “spiritual” and “nonspiritual” activities, a huge percentage will fall into the latter category. Our lives are made up of mundane activities like eating and drinking and sleeping.

But this is the beauty of living a life with no regrets: it is in the ordinary that we can most see God as extraordinary. The Bible puts it this way:

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” – 1 Corinthians 10:31

Becoming like Jesus has little to do with what you are doing, and everything to do with how you are doing it.

We are asked to glorify God in all we do, so what does that mean in dating?

When our hearts are fixed where true joys are found, we will experience no regrets in our season of dating, only lessons learned. When our eyes are set on Jesus, the change that takes place in our hearts has eternal significance.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” – 2 Corinthians 4:18

In your season of dating, fix your eyes on Jesus. Don’t become so consumed by your pursuit of the opposite sex that it becomes your idol, prioritized above all else. Dating with no regrets means keeping your focus on Jesus, so that no matter what happens in your relationships with others, your relationship with God remains intact.

Your Turn

Looking back on your dating relationships, do you have regrets? If so, what are you doing to work through them and to protect yourself (and your dating teens) from future regrets and teach them how to date in a God-honoring way?

Goddess Of War

Let not thy scepter smite thy servant for proclaiming such words with visual aids.

 

Happy birthday!

I love all our conversation, especially when I feel more encouraged in my faith. Let’s keep up our ‘deep talk’!

May God bless you always! (He does anyways, so maybe I should wish you something else?)

 

I don’t know

doctorbutterfly, always at your service.

Jesus Did What??!??

Was it by accident?

Amazing e-mail I just got. Lemme share with you guys.

 

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Did Jesus Accidentally Fulfill the Old Testament Prophecies?

Acts 3:11–26

As Peter spoke to the crowd in the temple courts following the healing of a man crippled from birth, he made it clear that Jesus fulfilled the Old Testament prophecies (see Acts 3:18,24). But could Jesus have merely fulfilled these prophecies by accident? Could it be that he’s just one of many throughout history who have coincidentally fit the prophetic fingerprint?

“Not a chance,” comes the response of Louis Lapides, a Christian convert from Judaism. “The odds are so astronomical that they rule that out. Someone did the math and estimated that the probability of just eight prophecies being fulfilled is one chance in one hundred million billion. That number is millions of times greater than the total number of people who’ve ever walked the planet!

“That same person calculated that if you took this number of silver dollars, they would cover the state of Texas to a depth of two feet. If you marked one silver dollar among them and then had a blindfolded person wander the whole state and bend down to pick up one coin, what would be the odds he’d choose the one that had been marked? The same odds that anybody in history could have fulfilled just eight of the prophecies.”

Scientist Peter Stoner estimated that the probability of fulfilling 48 prophecies was one chance in a trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion, trillion! Our minds can’t comprehend a number that big.

“The odds alone say it would be impossible for anyone to fulfill the Old Testament prophecies,” Lapides concludes. “Yet Jesus—and only Jesus throughout all of history—managed to do it.”

 
Adapted from interview with Louis Lapides

 

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If you wanna get the same amazing email newsletters, click Here or the pic of my email below.

I recommend all to do so. They have all sorts of newsletters, for all shapes and sizes. I mean, for all age and genders.

Be blessed people!

 

Sincerely,

doctorbutterfly

Dear Old Aaron,

You know, I’m not enjoying my job right now. Just as a confession. I have a great boss, and don’t misunderstand, I am super grateful to God for this job. But I’m just not looking forward to tomorrow morning.
I guess one reason is because I just don’t see myself doing this all my life. I don’t see me as an office worker. When I was looking for a job, it was hard when people asked me what work I wanted to do, because I can’t really do what I like doing. Not only that, my friend was telling me that I shouldn’t be looking for a job, but for a career.
That’s good, solid advice, but I just feel deep in my heart that God wants me to figure things out first. I gotta remember that I don’t have my skillset, life, and direction, figured out yet. So who’s to tell me what my ‘career path’ is?
I actually do long to be in the ministry. I’m pretty sure I have a heart for the youth and/or the teenagers. But I’m pretty sure God wants me to not go fulltime yet. I feel like He probably wants reveal me to me, slowly, out in the business world first (I’m not the only one who’s told me that btw), Train me in my giftings and talents, And expose me in the needed areas, Before I go fulltime into whatever God has called me into.
Here’s my reminder to you, future Aaron, as I lie here on my bed, being unexcited and not looking forward to day 4 of work tomorrow, remember why you’re in the business world. For now. It’s to figure out what God has planned. God will probably be molding you to be ready for your prime time ministry. This prime time may only be for a few years when you’re super old. Or it may happen when you’re young. You/ I’ll never know for sure eh? It took Jesus 30 years working as a carpenter on weekdays, and probably being a youth worker or some ministry worker on the weekends, to be ready for His prime ministry that only lasted 3 years.
30 years of perfection/maturity growth.
So old Aaron, look to God. Rest assured that your hope is not lost. God has a plan. Your dreams can come true, no matter how non-profitable it may sound. And you’re on the right track, as long as you’re willing to obey Him. Yet, keep dreaming. Also, Lean not on your own understanding. And don’t get too comfortable with where you are now.

Old Aaron, if you’re reading this, it means you’re in the future. For sure. It also means you’re alive. It means opportunity to grow/learn. It means opportunity bless/serve. It means opportunity to be a gentleman. It means please keep wasting energy on loving people, no matter how painful and tiring it is.

Old Aaron,

Doctorbutterfly at your service

Of Miley Cyrus & Maturity

I remember when being hosts of an event, even an informal party, was a big responsibility. We had to look our best and show the most respect as we expected the most respect.
People say Miley and those other superstars became that way “cuz they’r growing up”.
When did freedom equate to growing up? Since when did irresponsibility of your image, words, action and life equate to maturity?
I honestly blame Hollywood for messing up the generation I’m growing up in right now. Standards are changing. Moral codes are twisted. Priorities now revolve around entertainment and comfort, the most unimportant things in life.
Most of all, I believe we’re fighting a losing battle against our oldest enemy. Ourselves. Oh, the Devils job is easy. He just tells us to dig (invest in) a grave of ignorance and comfort. And we dive head-on into our own grave of ignorance and comfort (laziness. fun. entertainment. excuses.), thinking we’ll find maturity, love, hope, and fulfillment.
We need to go back to the old ways. When learning and working was a noble cause. When friendship meant looking for the best in people. When laziness was frowned upon. When immorality was not equality. When presidents would share his faith on stage.
When people tried instead of make excuses.

Most importantly, we need God.

Doctorbutterfly at your service

Another Non-Business Idea

I like non-business ideas. What do I mean by that? I mean like an idea that needs to run on a scale like a business, but it’s not for profit. Like most churches. And half of those NGOs. Anyways, I’ve had a dream of my own. This isn’t one of my older dreams, in fact, it’s a pretty recent dream. Only a few years old. This idea, in fact, is not original. It’s inspired by what I saw once on the news. However, I have no money to start such a store. If you would like to help me out here, I’m willing to give my life to this hehe.

So the idea is this, to open a second-hand-charity-library-bookstore. Whoa that’s a lot of different words put together. I might call the store The Books, just because it might sound funny in conversation haha. Here are the rules for this bookstore:

Firstly, it’ll be a free-will library. You may borrow any books, for as long as you like, with no registration, no membership, and no late-fees.

Secondly, this’ll be a free-will bookstore. Meaning, the books sold can actually be bought for free, or for any price you think it’s worth. You can decide when you’d like to pay too. If you don’t have money today, go ahead and take the book home to start reading, and you can come back and pay next week.

Thirdly, it’ll be free-will book collecting ground. You may sell us your second-hand books, or you may donate to us. Up to you. If we deem it in good condition or salvageable, we’ll add it to the shelves. If not, we’ll find a way to donate it to charitable organisations, or if in really bad conditions, recycle it somehow.

 

Also, I’d like to probably buy the shop lot next to this bookstore shop lot, and make it into the reading area. It’ll be separate and called The Round Tables. Because I’ll be fitting it with round tables and chairs. And this lot will probably be where we do activities (if any). Maybe an English class for the kids who can’t afford to go to school, or those who aren’t allowed to register. We could get teachers in, and do Tuesdays and Thursday morning classes. No commitments. They come as they like and learn as much as they are interested to. Money from sold books can maybe be used to fund lunches for these kids. That’ll make them come.

 

I’m guessing you’d have realized the goal and vision of this idea. It’s just to promote reading. Not that I want to be a competitor of libraries, since they will still have a more extensive and more stable collection of books. And I want to promote sharing. Where we (the society) all help each other out. Especially to help those in need. This’ll be a good ground for people to just give, whether old books, or new books, or money. Some people want to help the needy, they just don’t want to join a church, or go to a temple, or sign up in an NGO. This’ll be a good place. Also, even if you donate a small amount (because maybe you’re a student or something) no one will notice or judge you.

 

 

So it’s just an idea. Any more ideas i can pump into this one?

Preachers Teachers Clowns

 

Think about it

 

 

Bribing As Motivation 101

For those of you close minded people, I’d like to say one thing. Bribing works wonders! It’s true. If it’s not true, why would it be so popular? We know it’s true because we see it. It’s a quick way to get wanted results. That’s a good deal right? Speed + results! And if you’re good enough, you can hide your tracks. Problem with this: conscience.

So before i talk about anything, let’s google-define the word ‘bribe’: to persuade (someone) to act in one’s favor, typically illegally or dishonestly, by a gift of money or other inducement. Ah ok. So key words here are dishonest and illegal. So is ‘bribing’ your kids to study bad? No, because according to this, it’s not a bribe. Illegal bribes are easy to spot. They’re bribes in situations where bribing isn’t allowed by the law. Dishonest bribes are a bit harder to spot. Because of the unspoken rules. Generally, if there’s a queue to a counter, it’s understood that latecomers have to insert themselves in queue at the back of the line. We all understand that that’s fair. But maybe Mr. Aaron decides since there isn’t any law here that says to line up, I’ll just ask a favor (with the motivation of money) of the counter attendant to deal with me first. I am in a rush too. We all know that cutting line is bad, but mostly because it slows our queue. But it is still a dishonest gain right? Because according to the ethical scale embedded inside us, everyone has to have an equal opportunity. If a line is served according to how much money you can pump into bribing, then it’ll be rich first, and poor last (if ever). For me, a bribe is when it negatively effects other people. Which is the main reason why corporate laws on integrity are of big importance. Here are my thoughts, I think a bribe is a form of motivation. A bribe can be both positive motivation (reward) and negative motivation (threat/punishment). And they’re bad because they either break rules, or are against our conscience. But, is bribing a sin?

What does the bible say about bribing. Let me be honest, I was very confused/intrigued by what the God has to say about bribing. They seem to contradict. And the word of God CANNOT contradict, or else it isn’t God’s word. Proverbs 15:27 Greed brings grief to the whole family, but those who hate bribes will live. And Proverbs 17:8 A bribe is like a lucky charm; whoever gives one will prosper! Seems like on one hand, bribing is bad, on another bribing is good. I think we forget to think that bribing is an act. It doesn’t reveal the nature of the heart. To assure you, the evil nature of greed is addressed in the bible. Deuteronomy 16:19 You must never twist justice or show partiality. Never accept a bribe, for bribes blind the eyes of the wise and corrupt the decisions of the godly. Exodus 23:8 “Take no bribes, for a bribe makes you ignore something that you clearly see. A bribe makes even a righteous person twist the truth. Proverbs 17:23 The wicked take secret bribes to pervert the course of justice. But the bible is also saying that bribing can be used for good. Proverbs 18:16 Giving a gift can open doors; it gives access to important people! Proverbs 21:14 A secret gift calms anger; a bribe under the table pacifies fury. So let’s get practical and REALLY ask, can bribing really be used for good?

Like I said, bribing is an act. It’s not an attitude. God will judge the attitude and intention of the heart. We can bribe to send an innocent person to jail. And we can pay a bribe to release a wrongly accused. We can contract a killer to kill our boss. And we can ‘contract’ an authority to see that a missionary’s visa is approved. Honestly, I hate bribes. I’m against it, but if my daughter was kidnapped and they asked for money, I’d be more than willing to participate in that bribe to keep my daughter safe. And I doubt I’ll feel bad. I think I’ll have peace in my conscience about the bribe. My sin would probably not be that I participated in a bribe, but that I have hate against the kidnappers. I know this sounds pretty unchristiany, but bribes is not a sin. Especially not if you’re the victim of the injustice. However, if you’re the one who’s asking for money to act unjustly, then the problem is greed. Then it’s a sin. If it’s an ‘opportunity’, well, you’ll have to look at the intention of your heart of why you’re agreeing. Guess what, I think Jesus would have participated in a bribe if he needed to.

Did Jesus do anything wrong during his time on earth? Contrary to popular belief, YES he did. It was so controversial, that moral codes and ethics were questioned. Tradition in a traditionally strong culture was shaken. People hated Jesus because of the rules he’s broken. Yet he dared to call himself King. Yet he dared to say that he’s the fulfillment of the word (wooooots). E.g. Luke 6:6-9 On another Sabbath day, a man with a deformed right hand was in the synagogue while Jesus was teaching. The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees watched Jesus closely. If he healed the man’s hand, they planned to accuse him of working on the Sabbath. But Jesus knew their thoughts. He said to the man with the deformed hand, “Come and stand in front of everyone.”So the man came forward. Then Jesus said to his critics, “I have a question for you. Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath, or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it?” So in the Torah (Jewish book of Law given by God) it was God’s law that the Sabbath day is made for rest. No work is to be done on that day. So the Jews started to make weird rules based on this Sabbath law. Eg. like you can’t walk past your neighbors house because walking is a lot of work. But Jesus came to earth to explain that the law is not a list of do’s and don’ts. The law is for the alignment heart and attitude, and for the growth of character.

Excerpted from Jesus’ sermon on the mount (Matt 5): … You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell…  You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So Jesus came to earth to explain that it’s not the action that breaks God’s law (and His heart). No, it’s our hearts and our attitude and our character that breaks the Law. If I was paying a ‘gift’ to be released from jail early, whether I sin or not will depend on why. Is it because I don’t want to face the consequences of my actions? Is it because I don’t want my family and friends to know what I did? Or is it because I felt that I’ve been wrongly accused and I don’t think that’s where God wants me to be at that moment? Ask yourself what is the intention of acting the briber or agreeing to be bribed? Greed? Fame? Compassion? Love? Shame? Pride? Laziness? When asking yourself, our conscience will come into play and help us. And the Holy Spirit works with and guides our conscience. With choosing the right action, will come peace and joy. Acting against it will result in uneasiness and fear. Yeah. I agree that these are such subjective emotions to be using to weigh our action. But with practice, we’ll be able to make decisions as close to what is righteous as possible. Sure, we’ll never be perfect, but we can always try, right?

I guess my conclusion can be this, the problem is not so much the act of bribing, but the attitude and intention of the heart. The Church tends to get very traditionalized that the act of worship becomes the focus of christian lives and teachings. That’s very Pharisaical isn’t it? Jesus said their clean acts are just an outward show. What’s more important is the internal attitude and character. Clean the inside and the outside will be clean as well.

Happy Birthday

RIDGE!

 

Man I love this guy

 

RSS Feeds + Random Thoughts

For those of you who hasn’t fully realised it yet, it’s October. Beginning of the 4th quarter of 2013. Congratulations for those of you who have survived with me so far.

 

Anyways, first thing I’d like to rant about today is my WordPress RSS feed reader. For your information, an RSS feed is where I can follow updates by blogs, websites, or news, or whatever.

So, I use my WordPress Reader. All new posts or updates from blogs and websites I follow are supposed to appear on it. But I tell you, it’s slow. What I mean by that is that, 1st of all, it doesn’t appear immediately when updated. That’s actually okay. I don’t really mind as much. Except that some posts get MISSED! And then appear later on. Which means, yesterday I’ve scrolled through and read through my updates, let’s say I see 5 blog posts. But today, when I open my reader, I noticed that I’ve missed TWO posts. So there were supposed to be SEVEN posts yesterday. That’s a real inconvenience, since I’ll have to scroll through previous days just to see if I’ve missed some feeds. GOSH. WordPress, please create a more powerful reader tool. Thank you.

 

Secondly, I’d like to update you about my job status. Looking for a job is easy. I have lots of places resources to find out who’s looking for suitable candidates to fill up vacancies. Applying is a lot of work, but not a problem. No, the problem is that companies are not replying me! They aren’t even telling me if I failed to get the job! Come on. But keep praying for me people. Thanks. I believe God has a good plan for me.

 

Next, I shall talk about a nightmare I had. It wasn’t much of a nightmare, more like a scary dream. But yet it wasn’t really a scary dream, just a scary type of dream. Get my drift? It was about a trip. To the beach? (I put a question mark because my dreams are full of question marks. I have no idea why or what things are in my dream LOL.) I think it was a rocky / sandy / cave-y sort of beach. Yeah, there were caves. I think we camped in one. LOL. Hmmm… come to think of it, I think we started out as a normal camp. We were camping in wooden houses. And we went to the beach. And then camped there. In a cave. There were a lot of us. Youth + teenagers. It was fun, enjoying the view and the sand. Then came this girl, she surprised me, because she wasn’t supposed to be around town. Oh yeah, she was a friend of mine. Let’s name her Ms. So Ms came, and she didn’t say hi or wave at us friends. She walked pass us, straight to the back to a girl, who in real life is not close to her at all (LOL). And they hugged and talked. I felt bad. I didn’t like being rejected. LOL. Okay anyways, so I had some time to talk to her personally. I was like hey I missed you, thanks for coming. And she said something like we’re not really friends anymore, and used a really really bad metaphor, something about a plate (which I only realised DIDN’T MAKE ANY SENSE when I woke up, but in the dream it felt like a sword cutting through my heart). So I went to the nearest bookstore (yes a bookstore on the beach), and sat down and was emo. That’s the whole drama of my dream hahahaha. It’s the type of dream I hate the most because I get worked up emotionally when I wake up, but realise it’s a stupid nonsensical dream, and then I hate myself for getting worked up emotionally on such nonsense.

Anyways, do you have such dreams? Gosh am I weird?