So Recently


I haven’t been able to sleep well. I’ve had a non-stop runny-nose. I can’t think straight. I get disappointed with myself for silly little things. I’ve had a problematic stomach. I can’t be bothered to be productive. My right ear hurt. I take afternoon naps (now that’s extreme). I miss my friends. I get tired easily. I start every sentence with the word “I”. I’m even writing in a proper sentence structure with grammar and punctuation. Oh man, this is bad. Maybe it’s the haze.

So if you haven’t heard, Xanga is going to make some major changes. It’s either going to just close down entirely, or revamp Xanga through the WordPress engine to Xanga 2.0 or something like that. Actually I’m not too sure about what’s going to happen. But I do know that it’s going to affect me. Because I like it here.

I’m really going to miss this place. It’s been a fun ride. Just blabbering my thoughts to the public world and expecting the world to respond. I also use this place as a motivation to read. Thought that maybe if I read more, I had more to share about. It worked. This blog motivated me to think deep. This blog motivated me to think deep yet express and present it in a fun and acceptable manner. This blog allowed me to express my thoughts about controversial issues. Why do I sound like I’m writing a eulogy? Maybe because this place has been a part of me for such a long time. This is definitely an emotional attachment.

Either way, whether Xanga closes or whether it stays alive with 2.0, I’ve decided that I will take my thoughts and words and express it through WordPress. I’ve created an account (don’t try to guess my username or look for it) there in the past in the hopes of creating a formal blog where I could maybe write teachings or devotionals. More serious stuff instead of my usual messy thought-diarrhea’s. But I guess I’m just going to move there because this ship may sink/upgrade.


Dear XangaTeam,

It’s been a great journey. Hope you do great in your future endeavors.

God bless.


Die, Self, DIE!

To Do List


for those of you who don’t know,

i’m currently on “menganggur” mode and am still searching for a job.

(btw, i took a degree in business administration. a little self promotion here. i need a job!)

but i was thinking,

i’m really not trying hard enough to find that job.


“why?” thunked you.


good kusiton.

well honestly,

i have this to-do list that i want done before i get this job, see?

and it’s like, i’m just a(teeny)bit lazy to get those stuff done.

which means, i cant get that job yet.

or else i’ll have a job,






Doing God’s Will


you know,

We Christians like to say things we don’t understand.



i should start every blog post with that sentence haha.


for example,

“Not my will, but Your will be done.”


“We should desire only one thing, God’s will.”


ok fine, those aren’t my “examples” per se. (what does “per se” mean anyways? HAHA)

they’re actually what i’ll be using to get my point across.


so lets dissect these sentences.

they focus on importance of God’s will.

and the death of our own will.


that’s actually good. in a way.

but. God gave us a will.

shouldn’t we be using it?



i have an opinion.

Permission to speak, sir!


…too bad, you don’t have a choice.


See, God has a plan for each of us.


but (again), He doesn’t Force us to do it.

WE have to USE our will to CHOOSE His will.

God DID give us a will for a reason.



in the new testament, Paul mentions about dying to ourselves.

(he wasnt talking about physical death)

but i don’t think he meant that ALL our dreams and passions are evil.

and i don’t think that if we have desires outside of what God says in the bible, we’re sinners.


King Solomon wrote this in Proverbs 16:3

Commit your actions to the Lord,
    and your plans will succeed.



did you say

MY actions?

MY plans?

what happened to “i ONLY do the will of God“?


God gave men creativity.

God gave us a will to decide between possibilities.

I believe that God plants seeds of different passion, desires, skills, and abilities inside us WAAAAAY before we were even planted into our moms.


So how can our desires and dreams be bad?

well, it can.

if it’s not dedicated to the Lord.

Also, it can be bad if God has obviously told you to do something else.




Lesson #1

How to make our plans and desires right and beautiful?



you need time.

more specifically, anything you call Now.

even if it’s later, “now” will still mean “now”. so don’t worry about that.


you need a means of communication with God.

more specifically, anything you call Pray.

anywhere. don’t worry about which direction to look. don’t worry bout credit limit either.


you need to be honest.

Just tell Him you want your desires and dreams to be from Him.

He’ll actually slowly show you:

Which dreams are from Him,

which passions are from other un-good places,

and which plans are just up to us to decide.



So remember kids,

we do have a choice;

We always have and always will.

and many-a-times, our will is also God’s will planted into us.

we just have to be focused to see it.

and aware that we might get it wrong all the same.






is the past tense of 


is the past tense of




I’m Sexy And I Know It


What is beautiful?

Who decides?


People try to be honest with me and tell me that I need to dress better…

which is a very polite way of saying that I look bad (unbeautiful.. erm ugly?).

thanks guys. i appreciate your politeness.


i’m not offended or anything.

cuz if you DIDNT tell me, you’d be a bad friend. haha.

cuz i think i’m super handsome.

and if no one told me, then… well. then i’d be looking bad alot.


but you know,

who decides?

who decides that that thin girl on the billboard is sexy?

who’s to say what’s stylish or popular?


God tells me that I’m beautiful.

He tells me that you’re beautiful.


But is He right?

Is He the one who decides?

if He is, why am I not on the cover of magazines?

why are you not hired for commercials?


weird huh?



Is It A Choice To Choose?


Don’t let them call you a ‘bimbo’. You’re nerdy enough for me.



God wants us to CHOOSE to love Him. He’s not gonna MAKE us.



Do We HAVE To Die?


over the centuries, people have always wanted to have control.

people have always wanted to be able to choose neverdeath. err… immortality. i meant.


there are many natural things in life that we don’t have a choice about.

like, firstly, of course, death.

life? yes. we do have a choice between life or no life.

but death? it’s a must. it’s a certainty. it’s adhering to the laws of nature and science.

also, we don’t have a choice but to be governed by the laws of physics… like gravity. and space. and time.

thirdly, we don’t get to choose our biology. i’m not a dolphin. and my dad is not Eminem. I don’t have a choice.

and, another thing we don’t get to choose, this is a big one, is CHOICE.


God gave us a will to make decisions.

God gave us the free will to choose anything for ourselves.

but not only that.

EVERYTHING. Requires. A Choice.

we HAVE to make a decision.


To agree with something, a choice.

To disagree, a choice.

To be ignorant, a choice.

To accept a fact, a choice.

To doubt it, a choice.

To act on it, a choice.

To let it go, a choice.

To complain, a choice.

To face it, a choice.

To walk the easy path, a choice.

To walk the road less taken, a choice.

To go with the flow, a choice.

To dare to be ridiculed, a choice.

To practice, a choice.

To procrastinate, a choice.

To be all round pessimistic, a choice.

To be joyful and thankful, a choice.

To be disobedient, a choice.

To trust, a choice.

To harbor anger, a choice.

To love, a choice.


you know, everything comes down to what we choose.

even when situations are out of control, it’s how we respond that counts.

even if everyone disagrees, if my conscience tells me it’s right, i still have to choose.


this is what determines character.


ask yourself:

do you make your own decisions?

or do you let your mood, situations or environment dictate your choices?


i’m not saying it’s easy to develop character.

in fact, that’s what problems are for; to help us grow.

when we make a choice to face a problem head on, we overcome something that we can never overcome if we don’t make the difficult decision.

problems and difficulties are like mirrors, they reveal a side of you that you’ve never been able to see by yourself.

also, if we don’t deal with this problem, it’ll always seem to keep appearing.

just like looking into a new and different mirror.

no matter how many new and different problems you’re gonna face, if the previous flaw in self has not been dealt with, you’ll see the same flaws show in the new and different mirrors.

the same issue will occur.

so choose to deal with it.


i can’t say i’m super holy.

just like obedience and holiness is a choice,

disobedience and sin is also a choice.

i have to say (honestly), i choose to sin and be disobedient all the time.

let me give you a very innocent example from my own life.

if someone is late for a meeting that i’m chairing, i get mad!

i choose to let my emotions rule over my actions.

cuz it’s downright easy to do.

but, you wanna know what’s the Most Difficult thing to do when someone makes me angry?

choose keep a joyful face, forgive, and continue to live life the best i can without making the situation worse.

you know, that’s just too difficult to do!

that’s just crazy.


but God’s all about crazy isn’t He?



Will the Judgement Day look like this? prolly not… 


we hear people talk about the JUDGEMENT DAY all the time.


but I tell you the truth, brothers, Judgement day is not about fire and brimstone raining from the sky.

judgement, is when God weighs our character and compares it with Jesus’ character.

and our character is built on choices we’ve made.



let’s make the right choices.



The Book Of Proverbs


is a super good book to start reading about choices.

making wise and productive and efficient choices.

in fact, the bible talks all about choices.



let’s take making the right choices seriously.



I’m A Man Now!

Really Tiny Update Of Life In Point Form


– I’ve just graduated from a 3months bible course in Tung Ling Seminary

– I’ve just emailed my first resume in my life

– I’m on season 3 of Fringe, a tv series. Like a scientific version of The X-files


Not As Tiny (Obligatory) Message Of Appreciation In Centered Paragraph


Greetings fellow earth-fellows. I’m very encouraged that my blog is being visited by humans from all over this humanity. I’ve got readers from California, France, New Jersey, Georgia (wait… those are both in the US right?), Ontario, Poland, New Jersey, Arizona, UK, Ukraine, and especially from Malaysia! I hope you guys are actually real human beings and not bots created to visit blogs to make bloggers feel good.

Thanks all for reading! I’m at your humble service.





 Even Less Tiny Sharing Of Personal Observation With Intention Of Provoking Self-Evaluation And Possible Change Resolve Among Readers


Proverbs 12:14

A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his mouth,
And the recompense of a man’s hands will be rendered to him.



you know,

i’ve honestly never really associated the word “fruit” and “mouth”

like the way i associate the words “fruit” and “hands”


i know that good works bear good fruit.

but why did it not occur to me that good words would too?


whatever the reason, this reminds me that we need to be careful with words.

our words really have the power to build up or destroy.


and you know, if i REALLY think about it,

words affect three categories of people.

1. the person you’re talking to

2. the person who’s talking

3. the person who’s not listening nor talking (yes everyone else in this whole world)


yes. the things we say do affect ourselves and also hurt others who were not even involved in the conversation.

how? usually not directly, i guess.

think about it.

but it’s there.


our mouths can bear bad fruit.

our mouths can bear good fruit.



Responses To Hatred


Proverbs 10:18

Whoever hides hatred has lying lips,

And whoever spreads slander is a fool.




at first that sentence made me think

“dont tell also bad, tell also bad, then howww?”


but then it sparked me to think even more.

what’s the main theme here?

i think it’s Responses to Hatred.


which got me thinking even more.

what different possible responses to hatred are there?

1. i could harbour my feelings and keep it secret.

2. i could tell someone. which probably would turn out as an evil report and defamation (it probably wont turn out to be a neutral report about how to help someone out of the bad situation or action).

3. i could directly tell the person involved that i hate him/her.

4. i could forgive that person.


this thought led to yet another question:

why would the proverbist (the person who wrote the proverb? haha) only mention no 1. and no. 2.?

i would have written:

1. Whoever hides hatred has lying lips,

2. Whoever spreads slander is a fool,

3. And whoever confronts hate confronts trouble.

but, i’m not wise old solomon.



1. it’s totally bad to slander. that’s obvious.

2. but it’s totally even worse to keep hatred inside

cuz it’ll grow into a huge whoopee cushion of hate and anger, and explode, one day, at the slightest prick from the bluntest kiddy toy scissors.


3. is it bad to confront?

wise old solomon already addresses this issue in Proverbs 27:6

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.


ok it is good to confront.

but is it easy?

i hate confronting people when they do wrong.

it’s just difficult to get the right mixture of wisdom, strictness, mercy and love into it.

it’s also (more) difficult to be able to accept that the response may not be what we hoped for.


also, not forgetting

its just impossible to do in love… if we hate that person right?



but anyways.

i like to keep things simple here.

as a final conclusion, we should probably learn from this guy:



4. Hate is Bad



Proverbs 9

The Way of Wisdom

1 Wisdom has built her house,
She has hewn out her seven pillars;
2 She has slaughtered her meat,
She has mixed her wine,
She has also furnished her table.
3 She has sent out her maidens,
She cries out from the highest places of the city,
4 “Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!”
As for him who lacks understanding, she says to him,
5 “Come, eat of my bread
And drink of the wine I have mixed.
6 Forsake foolishness and live,
And go in the way of understanding.


The Way of Folly

13 A foolish woman is clamorous;
She is simple, and knows nothing.
14 For she sits at the door of her house,
On a seat by the highest places of the city,
15 To call to those who pass by,
Who go straight on their way:
16 “Whoever is simple, let him turn in here”;
And as for him who lacks understanding, she says to him,
17 “Stolen water is sweet,
And bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”
18 But he does not know that the dead are there,
That her guests are in the depths of hell.





Wisdom’s house is built on 7 pillars.

that’d be a big and steady house.

food has been set. meat. not baby milk.

& wine mixed. can mixed wine be kept? hmm im not sure. but i dont think mixed wine is meant to be kept. it’s special, tastes good, and is meant for today. tomorrow will have it’s own mix of new wine. don’t wait or let it rot. let’s dine today.


now Folly also has a house.

she’s not inside preparing. she’s outside.

doing marketing-sales.

reminds me of how some products are so “package-focused”.

the product itself has no substance.


people can have substance in their life.


but it takes wisdom, hard work, early preparation, time, precision (care; like mixing wine), growth (maturity), strength, and daily consistency.


watch for Folly!

she may make herself look good and sound convincing.

but you’ll find her sitting! at the door of her own house even.

not even standing or moving or looking for you or doing anything.

i can imagine a pretty looking lady, sitting on the doorsteps of her little run down house.

calling out, trying to gain attention.

trying to convince you of how pleasurable sin can be.


how would you respond if you see a man get fooled by Folly?

if i see a man get convinced by such a character and go into her house with her,

i would be the first to say “what an idiot! gosh! can’t he see such an obvious trap?!”




but then again, can i say i havent walked into obvious traps myself?



Tough Questions with RC Sproul

Why does God let random shootings, fatal accidents, and other horrible things occur?


Since we believe that God is the author of this planet and is sovereign over it, it’s inevitable that we ask where he is when these terrible things take place.

I think the Bible answers that over and over again from different angles and in different ways. We find our first answer, of course, in the book of Genesis, in which we’re told of the fall of humanity. God’s immediate response to the transgression of the human race against his rule and authority was to curse the earth and human life. Death and suffering entered the world as a direct result of sin. We see the concrete manifestation of this in the realm of nature, where thorns become part of the garden and human life is now characterized by the sweat of the brow and the pain that attends even the birth of a baby. This illustrates the fact that the world in which we live is a place that is full of sorrows and tragedy.

But we must never conclude that there’s a one-to-one correlation in this life between suffering and the guilt of the people on whom tragedies fall. If there were no sin in the world, there would be no suffering. There would be no fatal accidents, no random shootings. Because sin is present in the world, suffering is present in the world, but it doesn’t always work out that if you have five pounds of guilt, you’re going to get five pounds of suffering. That’s the perception that the book of Job labors to dispel, as does Jesus’ answer to the question about the man born blind (John 9:1-11).

On the other hand, the Bible makes it clear that God lets these things happen and in a certain sense ordains that they come to pass as part of the present situation that is under judgment. He has not removed death from this world. Whether it’s what we would consider an untimely death or a violent death, death is part of the nature of things. The only promise is that there will come a day when suffering will cease altogether.

The disciples asked Jesus about similar instances—for example, the Galileans’ blood that was mingled with the sacrifices by Pilate or the eighteen people who were killed when a temple collapsed. The disciples asked how this could be. Jesus’ response was almost severe. He said, “Unless you repent, you will all likewise perish,” again bringing the question back to the fact that moral wickedness makes it feasible for God to allow these kinds of dreadful things to take place in a fallen world.


– Now, That’s a Good Question! Copyright © 1996 by R. C. Sproul


I got this in my email from my subscription of newsletters from Every few times a week I get a motivating or thought-provoking word from awesome people that build my faith. You can subscribe too here. Seriously, it’s awesome!

Lots of things you can subscribe to, like Bible reading plans, Devotionals, words of promises, and even jokes. I personally am receiving words from Max Lucado, a world best-selling author and some devotions.




Syntax Error


for me the term ‘friendzone’ is an error on its own.

for me this term cannot mean anything other than what other terms already mean.


whoa what?


i mean that everything we think friendzoning means, we actually can explain it more accurately with other words.

so we dont NEED this word friendzone.

in fact, all it does is create more vagueness and irresponsibility.


i mean seriously.

you categorize someone you treat as a friend as friendzoned?

then what about strangers?



and so what if i WAS friendzoned?

does that mean that i wont have the chance to be in a “more than friends” relationship with that girl?

does that mean that a strangerzoned person will always be a stranger?


didn’t we all start as strangers?

all my bestfriends weren’t my bestfriends from the moment i met them.


and as a term, the word “friendzone” sucks because the meaning just depends on who is saying it.

and that person STILL has to explain what his version of friendzone is anyways.

its like saying “oh i friendzoned you because i think we cant be more than friends yet we can be friends”.

why don’t you just say “oh we can be friends but not more than that”?

its more simple.


simple. straightforward. honest. no beating around the bush.