Joe Average

There was once an odd butterfly. That’s me.

I dislike my wings (they’re ugly). But I love to fly.

I hated my life. But I never wanted to die.


Honestly, I grew up a normal butterfly.

I didn’t have many friends. I didn’t know my parents.

Didn’t have much choice of food. Didn’t have much choice of talent.


But hey, life went on. Make the best of it.

I did what I did. Day out and day in.

Same old routine. Sipping tree sap, relaxing.


One fine, flowery, bright mooned, windy night.

A scent attracted me as it blew by.

One look at her, a tear dropped from my eye.


What’s this happy crying going on?

I have met females before. So I have to wonder.

Is this a biological reaction, to seeing my mother?


Slowly, my curiosity led me to a stranger.

Slowly, this stranger became a friend. We knew each other from antler-nose to sticky-toes.

Slowly, this friend, oh you could say, we got pretty close, pretty close.


It took me a while to realize this.

That her best interests became my heart’s desire.

And involvement from her, fueled my life’s fire.


But before I presented to her this notion.

Find I, another butterfly, to whom her heart has won.

And my, did they look cute. I could only look on.


I became quite close to him.

You see, she’d bring him, as we did our activities.

And I noticed some incapability.


However she chose to choose him nonetheless.

I thought she’d be good for me. But she was good for him too.

And life took a different turn suddenly, as she said “I do.”


Looking back, I knew I could’ve got to her.

But this love I felt wasn’t selfish in nature.

Fluttering around as I wonder, I realized my teacher.


Whom my heart still so desires to meet. My mother. 

She loved me, this egg / caterpillar / butterfly, with all of her heart.

Yet, though hurt her desire, as nature designs, did she depart.


I know how you feel mom.

Strong, intense desire to hold, to care, to see future grow.

But find a love powerful and unselfish enough, to let go.


Die, Self, DIE!

To Do List


for those of you who don’t know,

i’m currently on “menganggur” mode and am still searching for a job.

(btw, i took a degree in business administration. a little self promotion here. i need a job!)

but i was thinking,

i’m really not trying hard enough to find that job.


“why?” thunked you.


good kusiton.

well honestly,

i have this to-do list that i want done before i get this job, see?

and it’s like, i’m just a(teeny)bit lazy to get those stuff done.

which means, i cant get that job yet.

or else i’ll have a job,






Doing God’s Will


you know,

We Christians like to say things we don’t understand.



i should start every blog post with that sentence haha.


for example,

“Not my will, but Your will be done.”


“We should desire only one thing, God’s will.”


ok fine, those aren’t my “examples” per se. (what does “per se” mean anyways? HAHA)

they’re actually what i’ll be using to get my point across.


so lets dissect these sentences.

they focus on importance of God’s will.

and the death of our own will.


that’s actually good. in a way.

but. God gave us a will.

shouldn’t we be using it?



i have an opinion.

Permission to speak, sir!


…too bad, you don’t have a choice.


See, God has a plan for each of us.


but (again), He doesn’t Force us to do it.

WE have to USE our will to CHOOSE His will.

God DID give us a will for a reason.



in the new testament, Paul mentions about dying to ourselves.

(he wasnt talking about physical death)

but i don’t think he meant that ALL our dreams and passions are evil.

and i don’t think that if we have desires outside of what God says in the bible, we’re sinners.


King Solomon wrote this in Proverbs 16:3

Commit your actions to the Lord,
    and your plans will succeed.



did you say

MY actions?

MY plans?

what happened to “i ONLY do the will of God“?


God gave men creativity.

God gave us a will to decide between possibilities.

I believe that God plants seeds of different passion, desires, skills, and abilities inside us WAAAAAY before we were even planted into our moms.


So how can our desires and dreams be bad?

well, it can.

if it’s not dedicated to the Lord.

Also, it can be bad if God has obviously told you to do something else.




Lesson #1

How to make our plans and desires right and beautiful?



you need time.

more specifically, anything you call Now.

even if it’s later, “now” will still mean “now”. so don’t worry about that.


you need a means of communication with God.

more specifically, anything you call Pray.

anywhere. don’t worry about which direction to look. don’t worry bout credit limit either.


you need to be honest.

Just tell Him you want your desires and dreams to be from Him.

He’ll actually slowly show you:

Which dreams are from Him,

which passions are from other un-good places,

and which plans are just up to us to decide.



So remember kids,

we do have a choice;

We always have and always will.

and many-a-times, our will is also God’s will planted into us.

we just have to be focused to see it.

and aware that we might get it wrong all the same.






is the past tense of 


is the past tense of




My Prayer


Matthew 19:2

…Large crowds followed him there, and he healed their sick…



this verse is so out of the blue.

if you read the verse before verse 2, and the verses after verse 3,

you’ll notice that verse two didnt really fit in.

it’s like meant to be a separate story.

yet, i bet most people wont even notice.


well, because thats just Him.

thats just what He does.

so normal.

all over the books of the gospel you see people just following Him around, listening, or getting healed.

you know, i personally have a desire to be like Jesus.

but, no one follows me around (that would be freaky).

i’m even afraid to pray for healing sometimes, because of the fear that the person won’t receive the healing that I asked for.

I need to change my mindset.


Lord, give me the wisdom and knowledge to say the right things at the right time. Lord, teach me to see the needs of the people. Lord, help me to love those around me. Lord, help me to have courage to do the right thing. Lord, I want my heart to beat in sync with Yours. I want to be sensitive to Your spirit and Your movement. I want to be more like You, Jesus. That is the desire of my heart.