Why We Can Be Brave

Psalms 46:1-3 (NKJV)
1 God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
3 Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling.

Of Manna

¹⁴ When the dew evaporated, a flaky substance as fine as frost blanketed the ground. ¹⁵ The Israelites were puzzled when they saw it. “What is it?” they asked each other. They had no idea what it was. And Moses told them, “It is the food the Lord has given you to eat. ¹⁶ These are the Lord’s instructions: Each household should gather as much as it needs. Pick up two quarts for each person in your tent.” ¹⁷ So the people of Israel did as they were told. Some gathered a lot, some only a little. ¹⁸ But when they measured it out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed.

Exodus 16:14-18

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I have a problem with this passage.

Not that there’s anything inaccurate or anything wrong that happened. It’s very logical and is probably a sound record of what happened.

My problem is with how I would respond if I was one of those Israelites. Let’s take a small step back and look at the context.

The Israelites, very recently left Egypt. God saved them from slavery and showed His mighty signs and wonders and power to show off to the world. Now, as they wander the desert, they realise they are hungry and will die soon. Then the Israelites did what they did best. Complain. God heard them of course. And gave them food. But God took the opportunity to build their faith. He likes to do that to His chosen peoples. He gave them food for the day that would rot next morning. God wanted to build their trust in Him. To know that He will provide for next day.

Moses gave a difficult instruction. Go outside and take how much food is needed for your family for the day. I would have taken more than enough. I mean, for survival. My family is hungry. I already feel bad for not being able to provide for my family. Nomads don’t farm. Also, there was ALOT food on the ground. It’s an amazing miracle. Enough to feed more than 1 million for the whole day. I’d say taking more is not selfish. And it’s more of a precaution. Based on past record, this has never happened in my life, what are the chances it will happen again tomorrow just because Moses said so?

But God wanted the Israelites to trust Him DAILY. But… But… How? How do you TOTALLY FULLY trust someone? How do you TOTALLY and FULLY trust God?

To be honest, I can’t say I have perfect trust in God. I still have a lot of things in life that I like to do my own way. I still like to be in control. I still want to plan ahead. And I still like to complain.

(Disclaimer: I’m not saying that being in control of your life or planning ahead is bad. But I am saying that complete trust in God does require us to let go of some of our fundamental trust in ourselves, people, rules, and even logic. That’s why I find it so hard.)

But I have been practicing. Here are two simple practical ways to try and work on your trust in God. It’s how I do it anyway.

Advice

Firstly, try being trustworthy to others. Try not promising too much, and try to remember and fulfill what you have promised. The more I do this, the more I find that I can’t trust myself. Yet I also find that I do like being trustworthy, honest, and respected. I realise that I need to have love for others to want to be trustworthy. And I also realise that people love you for being trustworthy. I’d say, trying to be trustworthy shows me a glimpse of what God wants to do for us and what He wants from us. That might make you trust God and appreciate His promises more.

Secondly, let God prove Himself. If God said so, let it be His challenge to Himself. If He longs for us to trust Him, He’ll prove Himself. I agree that a lot of things (like basic needs) may be too risky to trust an unseen being with. Well then, start small. Trust Him for the little things. Praying and trusting God for a good parking could be a good start. When you start to believe that God is trying to prove Himself to you, pick up a bible and claim a promise He made in the bible. He made a lot of promises. And none of them are small. God only makes bombastic promises. If it comes true, it should be proof enough.

Thirdly, you can ask for faith, I guess. Wait, didn’t I say I only have two advice? Yeah I did. Oh well, my third advice is to ask. I definitely have faith. But I definitely could have some more. I don’t think it’s possible for a human being (except Jesus) to have a perfect 100% faith or a perfect trust in God. Various people have various degrees of faith according to what God gives them (but even though we’ve been given different levels of faith, I still believe it is our responsibility to grow it). So God is pretty much still in control in the first place. He says that nothing is too trivial a task for Him, and no request is too big and ambitious. And if we can pray for a friend to have faith, why can’t we pray for ourselves to have faith? No harm asking.

Trust

‘Trust’ sounds like a passive action. Sounds like ‘wait’. But imagine in movies, the starring hero will tell the girl who is hanging out of a tumbling car to “trust me”. It means she has to let go of the car she has been hanging on to and trust the hero to grab her hand before she falls. Trust is a verb. You need to do something. The hardest part of holding on to the hero is letting go of the car. Do you have something you need to let go of for God to prove Himself?

Next

Hey friends, that’s you. Things may get a bit more hectic this year. I’m gonna be changing my job starting Feb. Interesting transition. I’ve only been offered about two and a half weeks ago. And I decided last week. Sent my resignation letter to my current boss the moment I decided. Of course, as with any kind of change I’m faced with, I have this deep inner fear from my stomach that comes up and crawls under my skin. I’m not kidding. It feels like that. Always. Especially when I have to do something important. Changing a job is an important event. Anyway, I hope I do well there. It’s one step up my ‘corporate life ladder’. Which always means more responsibility and more stress and more focus needed. Focus? GAH. I’m gonna try my best anyway. I will make mistakes and forget stuff and make a fool of myself. But I have to remind myself what I’ve recently reminded a dear friend of mine, to be successful is to fail and to try and try again.

I hope you’re rocking your life.

If not, take courage and make the best out of what you have! Bring God with you.

Cheerio!

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Psalm 147:11

Jehovah takes pleasure in those who fear Him, who hope in His mercy.

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The word ‘fear’ here made me reflect on my life. Do I fear God? Or do I fear God enough?

I feel like my fear for God is getting less than it used to. I’m talking about my reverence for Him and my respect for Him. And I can admit, after careful evaluation, that I’m probably putting more effort and care into my ministry and my own entertainment rather than God.

My heart broke as I stumbled on this verse. It reminds me of how it used to be. My love for God now is strong. But not as strong as it used to be. I want that again. Those were exciting times. When my faith was like a child’s faith. Now, I think and worry too much. I try to solve problems myself rather than rely on God. I fear letting people down rather than fearing I let God down. I get disappointed in myself rather than hoping in His mercy.

Time to change. Time to let go of myself and my world. Time to embrace God, His goodness, His grace, His mercy, and His promises. And also His discipline (which may be a big reason why I try to avoid Him).

Sorry, Father, for disobeying You. Sorry for hiding from You when I do sin. Sorry for putting ministry and myself before You. Sorry for ignoring Your Love. Jesus, sit on the throne of my heart again. It has always belonged to You. Take control. Holy Spirit, fill my life up to the brim with Your presence, Your fruit, Your living water. Guide me, nudge me, teach me, discipline me, open my eyes to what I need to see. Activate my spiritual senses. Tune me into your frequency, that my heart may beat at the same beat as Yours.

I am nothing without You.

Retreat!

Social Situation #1

 

 

so i have this natural tendency to just tear myself away from a group of friends or from a conversation when it becomes socially awkward for me.

i will just retreat or look for someone else to talk to, or just find some other way to entertain myself when it becomes awkward.

or at least, when i THINK its awkward.

 

for example,

i have friends who get mushy-mushy with each other and act soooo… like… lovey-dovey…

i will be quite repulsed and just walk away.

or when someone is like trying to act so caring and try to impress someone else.

i can think of gross things to say.

and when i feel like there is no way anything i say next is going to be positive or edifying,

i just walk away.

i just cant take it.

its something i dislike.

it makes me feel like some sort of intruder to this romantic relationship that i dont understand.

i just dont see it.

it works either way.

whether its the guy trying to impress a girl, or when a girl is trying to impress a guy.

i will move aside.

i dont like to look like i want to gain attention from this girl whom other guys are trying to gain attention from as well.

 

 

 

Social Situation #2

 

nt only that, i feel uncomfortable making new friends.

making new acquaintances, i’m ok.

but making new friends (i’m not like my sis or my dad)…

 

 i’m not really as sociallable as some people think.

in fact, if you really hang with me alot, and actually like, live with me (like classmates or real good church friends),

you’ll see my true colours.

i dont feel comfortable making new friends, especially if its not my own initiative.

for example, when my sis forces me make friends with her friends (just because she gets along with my friends just fine, she thinks i can do it easily).

also, when my friends introduce me to their new boyfriends or girlfriends (it’s like, “oh i know you’ll get along so well”).

i mean. i’m okay with the idea of me making friends.

it’s just, i can’t be forced into it you know.

sometimes i find it harder when that certain friend of a friend is so interested to make friends with me.

(like those people who are super friendly and love making new friends)

i really dunno why, they can make me uncomfortable.

 

but of course, i know that in the long run, it will be better to make friends.

so i do.

i do allow people to introduce their new interests to me.

i do make an effort to make friends with my sis’s friends.

i do stick around to try to make friends with overly-friendly people.

 

i mean, honestly, i HAVE made good friends this way.

and i HAVE been blessed by great people this way too.

for example, C married a man named J (true story bro), and i feel quite uncomfortable around him. 

and C is a close close friend.

but because i love C, i need to love J too. and i allow myself.

now, he’s a great great friend who inspires me to be better.

 

i have made great friends this way.

its just that i dislike that uncomfortable feeling.

and i fear that my discomfort can be seen.

 

but as a conclusion i can say that i’m only afraid of the social discomfort,

but i’m not BAD or react wrongly at these social discomfort.

but the fear is still quite strong haha.

 

so another close friend of mine is praying for her ex-boyfriend.

and in fact, i did too.

i’ve never met him before.

so one day she announced to me that he will be visiting our church service.

wow. i was… shocked.

i didnt know why.

i got a cold+dilemma+fear.

what if i just retreat from him?

what if i cant really feel comfortable making friends with him?

yet i wanted to make friends and make a good impression because i’m sure she’d want me too.

and as a christian, we have to be friendly to people.

but just like the mushy-mushy thing i explained above, i’m afraid i will just dislike that social situation and just find an excuse to leave.

yet i think my fear is holding me back more than my actual ability to make friends.

sigh.

 

i wish i could just make friends with people no matter who they are.

easily and without over-thinking and without over-feeling.

 

 

 

Social Situation #3

 

like i said, im a coward in social situations.

and sometimes, i really really dunno how to react.

so, before the social situation even occurs, i retreat.

my mind will play all these possible scenarios (my brain can work really really quick) and when there is a high possibility a social situation may occur, i will make sure i wont be around to experience it or need to react to it.

 

i tell u the truth.

i love adventure and i love the thrill of doing crazy things.

but i hate hate hate the game Truth or Dare.

because its a bad social situation both for truth and for dare.

i fear it.

i detest it.

 

 

 

Social Situation #4

 

also, i will retreat from anything to do with personal pain or hurt (not the physical types).

everytime someone tells me that they dont have a dad or mom, or when someone tells me someone has passed away, i just freeze.

 

for example, recently (just yesterday actually), i asked a kid how tall his dad is.

he responded with “do you know what happened to my parents?!”

i was shocked.

i couldnt respond because the first thoughts that went through my head were

“they died in a car accident and now he’s an orphan”

or “his dad died and his mom is now a drunk”

or “his parents ditched him in a ditch when he was 5”

but i just sat there. i couldnt respond.

conversation within the group continued from somewhere we left off earlier.

but i had nothing to say till he left.

(i later found out that his dad left his family when he was young)

 

when i feel like i touched someones sensitive point, i will just lock up and shut up.

my urge will be to retreat and go think about something else.

hoping that person will forget i asked or brought the topic up.

i sometimes dont even apologise.

i just dont want the topic to even be touched.

unless they are close friends, then i will feel abit more comfortable to venture into this topic.

 

coward.

 

 

 

Retreat?!

 

this is a fear i’ve had.

i dunno what sort of fear that is.

it’s just that i dislike these sort of social situation.

and actually, its not good.

i’m not solving anything by shutting up or just running off.

in fact, im making it feel more awkward for that person or persons.

and i need to learn to be straight forward.

 

and i need to learn to not be too weirded out.

 

and i need to learn to be more patient with people who makes awkward situations that make me have to walk away.

 

i dunno what else i need.

Lord guide me.

 

 

Whuat Fear? NO

Am I Afraid Of The Dark?

 

no.

but i am afraid of the future.

 

i have this fear now.

in my heart.

like. whats gonna happen now?

i’m almost totally finished with college.

i have a degree in business administration with concentration of marketing.

(hire me?)

i’m entering the age that i have to be responsible for my image.

i have to act mature and as if i have everything in control.

i cant be happy-go-lucky anymore.

i cant be vulnerable anymore.

 

i have to be responsible for getting my career path right.

i think thats the scariest.

my career path.

its a whole road of my life.

but the first step is so important.

how is it possible to know what im good for?

how is it possible to know what i’m ultimately here on earth for?

 

God help me.

God guide my hands and feet.

to take the right actions and walk your paved path.

 

i dunno what new things to commit to.

i’m interested in learning the drums.

yet, should i improve in my bass first?

i’m interested to teach maths.

yet, should i do something that i actually got a degree for?

i want to dedicate my time to writing blogs for you people.

yet, is it a waste of my and your time?

 

i’m interested to invest time into people, especially those who call me leader.

yet, i’m afraid i’ll commit, but not be able to fulfill my commitments.

 

 

fear

 

 

 

In moments like these,

I’ll sing out a song,

I’ll sing out a love song to Jesus~