Tag: girl

Stumblethought #1

~ doctorbutterfly ~ Leave a comment

Cute-Design-promise-day-wallpapers

 Ephesians 1:13-14

 And now you Gentiles have also heard the truth, the Good News that God saves you. And when you believed in Christ, he identified you as his own by giving you the Holy Spirit, whom he promised long ago. The Spirit is God’s guarantee that he will give us the inheritance he promised and that he has purchased us to be his own people. He did this so we would praise and glorify him.

Watched San Andreas. I gritted my teeth the whole time. It was really exciting. Not much of a story or plot. But you can’t really expect much. Except destruction and really lucky people being alive.

So, if we really took a step back. A really huge step back. We can’t really determine our destiny can we? It all boils down to if God has chosen us.

All we can decide is what our response will be.

Little boy, she’s way out of your league.

One of my all time favourite bands is called Icon For Hire. Their latest album ‘Icon For Hire’ is seriously awesome. You all need to go listen and buy their music. Fix Me is one of my favourite songs in that album.

And that’s all I have for today kids.

Two-Update Update

~ doctorbutterfly ~ Leave a comment

Obligatory Update

Hey, came back from a camp called TeenStreet. It’s organised by OM for teens all around the world to get to know God more closely and to find out how fun relevant the Word of God actually is. And this one that I attended is the one held in Malaysia wooohooo. It was great fun.

I learnt a lot. Even though I went as a coach, I felt like I went as a participant. The leadership training was especially good. I learned so much about myself.

One interesting part is where we have to change negative views of ourselves into positive ones. One negative view of myself is that I’m lazy. I tell myself this quite often. Then with your friend, you’re supposed to change it into a true positive view, not just use the opposite word. My group member called Nathanael changed it for me to ‘responsible’. So from now on, I can’t say “I’m lazy”, I have to tell myself “I’m responsible.”

We did ALOOOOOT more than just that just for your information. I may share more about it next time.

P.S. I WILL for sure share more about it if you ask for it. Hehe. Or if you’d like me to talk about any other topic.

 

Non-Obligatory Update

Did you know that I’m a guy? Being a guy, I like girls. I’ve been attracted to a lot superstars. Let me name a few: Aya Ueto, Emma Watson, Emma Stone, Chloe Moretz, Ana Kendrick, Kristen Bell, Jennifer Lawrence, and others, to say the least. Recently, I’ve met a new superstar, got to spend some time with her. It was pretty awesome.

She’s got bright eyes. She’s pretty. She’s cooler than me. She’s super funny. She’s got a heart-melting smile. She loves God. She’s kind, polite, open, honest, compassionate. She even talked to me! *CHOKE*

Whoaaaaaaa… Aaron stop. Calm down. Breath. Okay.

I guess what I’m saying is, I met another superstar to add to my list. But remember a few posts ago I talked about the 5 Love Languages? Okay, maybe not so few blog posts ago. And I said my primary is Time. Those names I gave up there. I spent NO time with them at all. See what I’m trying to say? No? Good.

Okay, I’m very uncomfortable writing about this here where people may see it. HAHA. But I guess I had to get it out of my system. I hope you don’t understand or try to understand what I just wrote.

Good bye.

Retreat!

~ doctorbutterfly ~ 1 Comment

Social Situation #1

 

 

so i have this natural tendency to just tear myself away from a group of friends or from a conversation when it becomes socially awkward for me.

i will just retreat or look for someone else to talk to, or just find some other way to entertain myself when it becomes awkward.

or at least, when i THINK its awkward.

 

for example,

i have friends who get mushy-mushy with each other and act soooo… like… lovey-dovey…

i will be quite repulsed and just walk away.

or when someone is like trying to act so caring and try to impress someone else.

i can think of gross things to say.

and when i feel like there is no way anything i say next is going to be positive or edifying,

i just walk away.

i just cant take it.

its something i dislike.

it makes me feel like some sort of intruder to this romantic relationship that i dont understand.

i just dont see it.

it works either way.

whether its the guy trying to impress a girl, or when a girl is trying to impress a guy.

i will move aside.

i dont like to look like i want to gain attention from this girl whom other guys are trying to gain attention from as well.

 

 

 

Social Situation #2

 

nt only that, i feel uncomfortable making new friends.

making new acquaintances, i’m ok.

but making new friends (i’m not like my sis or my dad)…

 

 i’m not really as sociallable as some people think.

in fact, if you really hang with me alot, and actually like, live with me (like classmates or real good church friends),

you’ll see my true colours.

i dont feel comfortable making new friends, especially if its not my own initiative.

for example, when my sis forces me make friends with her friends (just because she gets along with my friends just fine, she thinks i can do it easily).

also, when my friends introduce me to their new boyfriends or girlfriends (it’s like, “oh i know you’ll get along so well”).

i mean. i’m okay with the idea of me making friends.

it’s just, i can’t be forced into it you know.

sometimes i find it harder when that certain friend of a friend is so interested to make friends with me.

(like those people who are super friendly and love making new friends)

i really dunno why, they can make me uncomfortable.

 

but of course, i know that in the long run, it will be better to make friends.

so i do.

i do allow people to introduce their new interests to me.

i do make an effort to make friends with my sis’s friends.

i do stick around to try to make friends with overly-friendly people.

 

i mean, honestly, i HAVE made good friends this way.

and i HAVE been blessed by great people this way too.

for example, C married a man named J (true story bro), and i feel quite uncomfortable around him. 

and C is a close close friend.

but because i love C, i need to love J too. and i allow myself.

now, he’s a great great friend who inspires me to be better.

 

i have made great friends this way.

its just that i dislike that uncomfortable feeling.

and i fear that my discomfort can be seen.

 

but as a conclusion i can say that i’m only afraid of the social discomfort,

but i’m not BAD or react wrongly at these social discomfort.

but the fear is still quite strong haha.

 

so another close friend of mine is praying for her ex-boyfriend.

and in fact, i did too.

i’ve never met him before.

so one day she announced to me that he will be visiting our church service.

wow. i was… shocked.

i didnt know why.

i got a cold+dilemma+fear.

what if i just retreat from him?

what if i cant really feel comfortable making friends with him?

yet i wanted to make friends and make a good impression because i’m sure she’d want me too.

and as a christian, we have to be friendly to people.

but just like the mushy-mushy thing i explained above, i’m afraid i will just dislike that social situation and just find an excuse to leave.

yet i think my fear is holding me back more than my actual ability to make friends.

sigh.

 

i wish i could just make friends with people no matter who they are.

easily and without over-thinking and without over-feeling.

 

 

 

Social Situation #3

 

like i said, im a coward in social situations.

and sometimes, i really really dunno how to react.

so, before the social situation even occurs, i retreat.

my mind will play all these possible scenarios (my brain can work really really quick) and when there is a high possibility a social situation may occur, i will make sure i wont be around to experience it or need to react to it.

 

i tell u the truth.

i love adventure and i love the thrill of doing crazy things.

but i hate hate hate the game Truth or Dare.

because its a bad social situation both for truth and for dare.

i fear it.

i detest it.

 

 

 

Social Situation #4

 

also, i will retreat from anything to do with personal pain or hurt (not the physical types).

everytime someone tells me that they dont have a dad or mom, or when someone tells me someone has passed away, i just freeze.

 

for example, recently (just yesterday actually), i asked a kid how tall his dad is.

he responded with “do you know what happened to my parents?!”

i was shocked.

i couldnt respond because the first thoughts that went through my head were

“they died in a car accident and now he’s an orphan”

or “his dad died and his mom is now a drunk”

or “his parents ditched him in a ditch when he was 5”

but i just sat there. i couldnt respond.

conversation within the group continued from somewhere we left off earlier.

but i had nothing to say till he left.

(i later found out that his dad left his family when he was young)

 

when i feel like i touched someones sensitive point, i will just lock up and shut up.

my urge will be to retreat and go think about something else.

hoping that person will forget i asked or brought the topic up.

i sometimes dont even apologise.

i just dont want the topic to even be touched.

unless they are close friends, then i will feel abit more comfortable to venture into this topic.

 

coward.

 

 

 

Retreat?!

 

this is a fear i’ve had.

i dunno what sort of fear that is.

it’s just that i dislike these sort of social situation.

and actually, its not good.

i’m not solving anything by shutting up or just running off.

in fact, im making it feel more awkward for that person or persons.

and i need to learn to be straight forward.

 

and i need to learn to not be too weirded out.

 

and i need to learn to be more patient with people who makes awkward situations that make me have to walk away.

 

i dunno what else i need.

Lord guide me.

 

 

LOVE & RELATIONSHIP & LOVE & RELATIONSHIP & LOVE & RELATIONSHIP & LOVE & RELATIONSHIP

~ doctorbutterfly ~ 2 Comments

 

i hope you like my title for today.

 

as you can tell.

i think we as human beings tend to focus alot on love and relationship.

is that a good thing or bad thing?

 

answer.

it is in fact a super good thing.

but wait, you think i was going to talk about how focusing on love and relationship so much can make u an emo person and ruin your life?

that is also true.

but we have to.

we’ve been built this way.

 

Fact #1

God built us for 1 purpose:

LOVE & RELATIONSHIP.

 

if you ask someone what life is about

or what defines their life

it prolly goes back to what they love doing, who they love, and who & what they associate with.

love and relationship.

family, job, friends, and beliefs.

of course, they dont CALL it a love & a relationship.

its just life.

basic.

 

most people equate love and relationship as boyfriend-girlfriend-spouse-husband-wife relationship.

it DOES make sense for us to love this topic and this train of thought so much,

because it touches us deep inside.

we all want it.

we all crave for it.

we just love being loved.

because we were made this way.

 

Problem #1

The Devil wants us to think that LOVE means “relationship with that special ONE man or woman.”

 

what happened to love being how we put up with our family?

what happened to love being the reason why we help our neighbors?

what happened to love being the reason we just feel compassionate for the needy?

what happened to love being the reason why we took that job?

what happened to love being sharing even when we are in need?

what happened to love being forgiveness and acceptance?

what happened to love being about pride in our family even when there are disagreements?

what happened to love being the bond between best friends?

what happened to love being the reason we are alive?

 

what happened to GOD’s Definition of love?

HE IS LOVE.

He created us to love Him and love those around us.

not just give focus on that one person.

no.

that is immature.

thats not what life is about.

one man or woman you decide to marry.

oh all my focus and life will be dedicated to you.

that sounds nice bro.

but God created us to have a greater life purpose than just that.

 

we seriously put so much passion and time and devotion and thought and energy into this love stuff.

wanna know why?

 

Fact #2 (that is basically a repeat of Fact #1)

We were BORN to put so much passion and time and devotion and thought and energy into this love stuff.

 

we love thinking about these things. and we should.

God created us this way.

all the devil needs to do is divert our attention on what we love.

(When we focus on that over God, it becomes idolatry: Mr devils #1 weapon of mass destruction)

its so easy.

what do we love?

its so easy for us to focus on loving our spouse or potential spouse

(because thats what the devil is telling us to focus on)

so easy to give it so much attention.

the devil is saying:

you prolly dont get enough love and attention that you should at home,

look at what drama and books are saying.

they all say the same thing. and if they say the same thing, its prolly true eh?

so where do the books and movies and drama tell us love is?

love is in that cute guy over there.

he’ll treat me right.

acceptance is in that cute girl over there.

she gives me happy tinglings when i talk to her.

feeling loved just like in the movies makes me excited!

The devil tells us that’s what love is.

AUTOMATICALLY, we will pursue love (we were born that way remember?).

we just need a gentle nudging.

the devil knows that.

he knows all the right buttons.

 

Problem #2

By that time we have given it too much Unnecessary attention and passion,

we’d be too worn out to care and love other things.

 

tell me if you did this today:

did you think about the lost?

did you think about the people who had no opportunity for studies?

did you think about how you can be a better son or daughter?

did you think about just being a better person for people around you?

did you think about being a good christian?

did you think about having a holy life to make God happy?

did you think about that girl that is soooo interestingly beautiful and you just cant put your finger on why she attracts you so much even though you’ve been telling people that that sort of girl is not your type?

i tell you the truth.

i’m guilty of spending too much time and energy thinking about girls that could potentially be my spouse.

 

Exercise #1

Find out what you’ve been thinking about, planning, and getting all excited over all day today, yesterday, the day before that, and most of the time for as long as you remember.

That may very well have become your idol.

 

 

As A Conclusion:

 

i call this topic of “love with a man or woman for marriage”, BGR.

Boy/Girl Relationship.

i dont call it LOVE or RELATIONSHIP.

sure BGR is a category under LOVE & RELATIONSHIP.

but love and relationship is so so much more than just that.

its a great conversational topic.

i love it in fact!

i really do.

but i think its really unhealthy to be dwelling on it too much.

we love this topic because it is our passion.

sure.

but we have to develop our other passions as well.

like a love and relationship with our parents, siblings, children, cousins, friends, best friends, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors, classmates, the poor, the sick, our government, its ministers, the foreigners, the illegal immigrants, and most importantly, JESUS. 

 

my hope for you from today onwards is that you be on the watch.

be watchful for the subtle lies of the enemy.

the gentle nudges that make us feel good and feel right and feel loved.

check it against the word of God.

LOVE is a big word.

Relationship is a big word.

we were created for a relationship with God and with people around us.

not JUST that one person.

 

also one last note.

is what your boyfriend doing to you called love?

is being accepted by your friends even if they ask you to do stupid things called love?

is the way your parents treat you called love?

want to find out what love REALLY is?

Movies, drama, books have it all wrong bro.

find out in the bible.

all the answers are there.

 

Like I Promised

~ doctorbutterfly ~ 1 Comment

A Proper Update Of My Life

 

Day 11 – What is your favorite quote? How does it relate to your life?

I had this nightmare last night.

it was about me trying to kill a man with my tiny gun.

no idea who he is, or why i needed him dead.

but. all my bullets kept missing the mark (his head). EVEN at close range.

either that, or my gun would fail at a convenient time.

thats dumb.

i was trying to hide from him and silently kill him. over and over again.

i think he prolly got the idea.

yet he was still so calm.

but i kept trying and failing.

what made it a nightmare was that if he was supposed to die,

he should.

him not dying made the dream scary.

 

 

Day 12 – What item of clothing do you wear the most?

This could be

Para-para-paradise

Para-para-paradise

Para-para-paradise

Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh

 

Day 13 – What can you not live without?

 

 

Day 14 – Name things that you do every day.

This is so weird.

why did my breath stink after i ate that burger king?

 

 

Day 15 – Who is someone you admire. Why?

you know.

not only girls need knights in shining armour.

we boys need them too.

there was once when i and a big group of us were waiting at the bus stand.

and these big seniors were behind the bus stand, hidden from sight, acting all suspicious-like.

and you could see that they were asking random kids to go back there one by one.

and each time something was taken from them. mostly money probably.

of course i didnt know about being mugged and stuff like that.

and i was curious. so i leaned over and took a look.

i was always a curious kid.

so of course i was called over.

they asked me the time.

pffft. how lame.

i told them the time. i had a watch.

i knew they couldnt hurt me. but i was scared like the north magnet is scared of the south.

they asked for my watch.

i said “no can do bro.” except without such machoism.

they asked me to step closer.

i did. dont know why. but i did.

then one guy produced a tiny blade thingy from his… ummm. not sure.

that freaked me. look, i was a kid okay.

he asked for my money.

i said i had none. which was true and was prolly what saved my life. (exaggerated again)

Thank God I never needed much money to survive school.

i told them i only had that much for the bus.

they let me go.

here’s the kick-ass part.

i went home and told my dad.

i didnt tell him i was scared, but i think he read it on my face just like i read tea leaves.

he didnt tell me what he thought about what i just told him.

but i think i saw something snap inside him.

1. he called his best friend, told him where to go, and to bring anything dangerous and more friends.

2. he looked for something painful. he found a baseball bat. (what was that doing in my house?)

3. he took the car and left.

it all happened in about 5 minutes of me telling him about it.

i wasnt really sure. but…

it didn’t seem like he went shopping for sandwiches with his homies.

of course, about 20mins after, he came home and told my mom that they didnt find any of the bullies there.

they prolly left before he or his friends got there.

and that was that.

my knight.

of course. he couldve been lying just to make my mom feel like she didnt need to call the cops.

ngehehehehehehehehehehehe

 

 

Day 16 – If the world were to end tomorrow, what would you do with your remaining time on earth?

I saw this at Lido open food court.

oh yeah. i totally stood you up guuuurl.

 

 

Day 17 – What do you want to be when you get older? Why did you choose it?

i saw this little girl today.

she was the cutest little thing.

she was looking at a notice board and doing squinty eyes at it as if life was so much more exciting that way.

then she started dancing and hopping around.

she also talked to herself like it was an adventure.

she was waiting outside the lift pressing the down button but she had to reach up cuz of how small she was.

then her mom came over to join her in the wait.

and soon the lift door opened and they went in, with little girl bubbly as ever.

and her mom told her in a sort of normal mommy way “tekan G” or “press the G” in malay, which stands for ground floor here where im from.

then little girl was so excited and was saying “G! G!” jumping and pressing the button as if it needed the motivation from her to start.

ah. the little children are the real gems of life.

❤

 

 

Day 18 – If you could meet anyone, living or dead, who would it be? What would you say to them or ask them?

a thought occurred to me today.

i noticed that people were pretty excited about the new Malaysia Ringgit Notes.

it was either Ugly or Pretty or Nice To Hold or stuff like that.

but more often than not, i noticed people like being given the new notes as change, and like giving away the old notes to pay for stuff.

i think we should start KEEPING the old notes.

i think the old notes will soon disappear and be obsolete.

then it’d be WORTH something MORE eh?

i wish i kept lots of those old RM1 gold coins.

oh those were the bomb dude.

 

 

Day 19 – What is your favorite film? Why is it so important to you?

Why Jesus?

Wana know more about life?

check out this vid

then, click join here

https://www.facebook.com/events/378237915582510/

 

that photo above was taken during the club recruitment drive of my college.

along with this pic.

 

 

Day 20 – Would you consider yourself an optimist or a realist? Why?

so my parents started making these energy juices with our new juicer-machiner!

fine piece of equipment.

i like it cuz i think its more fun than useful haha.

u know, tasting all those weird combination of fruit and veges is fun!

 

 

Never Thought 

 

this 50 day challenge thing could be so fun!