Strong Desire

No one blogs anymore do they? 
Sin Sin Sin Covet Sin

In relation to yesterday’s post, as God was teaching me about lust on Friday, I get a free lesson about it again yesterday. Paul says coveting is idolatry.

Colossians 3:5 (NKJV)  Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
This teaches another aspect of lust: When we covet, it’s a strong desire for something. If we desire it more than what our discipline or conscience says, then it’s a lust. In fact, we may even take it a step further and take action to fulfill the desire. For example, watching porn, binge shopping, stealing. If we knowingly do something that we know we shouldn’t, that’s basically trusting and worshipping another ‘god’. For example, Sex or Materialism. 
Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 

Ask yourselves if you love God enough to keep his commandments. 

Ini Hari Buffday Danielle

There’s this girl in my life. I’ve known her for a long time. She’s awesome. She’s also littered all over my blog. Like, if you click that link, you’ll see I mentioned her on blog posts dating all the way back to 2007. Mannnnn…… I’m old.

It’s her birthday today. And I’mma gonna do a little shout out for her.

Hey Danielle Burung Hantu Cina. Happppppppppp. Happpppppppp. Happpppppppy birthday to youuuu~ And you and you and you and youuuuuuuuuuuu. You will never ever be forgottennnnnnnnnnn ~ And my attempt at poetry failed~

The Lord gives his people strength.  The Lord blesses them with peace.

Therefore, peace out.


I’ve always thought myself as a compassionate person. I have a heart easily broken when I get to know people and find out what they’re struggling with. My natural instinct is to ask, what can I do? Every time I’ve gone to the villages of interior Sabah, my heart breaks. My view of life changes. I imagine what I can do to help. I pray for them when I remember them. I am a compassionate guy.

Or so I thought. Psalm 35: 13 gives a glimpse of how much David cared for his friends. But when they were sick, my clothing was sackcloth; I humbled my soul with fastings; and my prayer returned into my own bosom. This reminds me of all the times I have forgotten to pray for a friend who asked me to remember him/her in prayer. Because David changed his life to mourning to mourn for his friends. I don’t change my life just for a friend. Even when I’m heartbroken, I do not open my wallet and give money. ‘Logic’ overtakes me. Or, I just don’t have that love that we can see David has. Compassion is a trait birthed from love.

Compassion is not a feeling when you wanna cry for someone. Compassion is not imagining yourself in someones shoes. Compassion is a sorrow birthed from love.

God felt this compassion for you. For me. The helpless state we were born in, and delved in deeper as we lived. The trap. The pit. The hopelessness. There’s nothing we can do to free ourselves. God had compassion because He loves us. He WANTS to save us from that pit. With true love and true compassion comes action. Even the most difficult action is worth it. Because that is love. Because that is compassion. Because that is God.

He loves me

He loves you. He saved you.

Infinity Is Bigger Than You Think

Numberphile is awesome. But this video really gave me such an insight of how infinite our infinite God is.

For the nerdy bunch. This is a super interesting video. For the un-nerdy bunch. This is also a super interesting video.


For those who aren’t gonna bother watching the video. Well, let me give you a summary. Dr James Grime, a Cambridge university lecturer, is telling us that infinity isn’t just bigger than the biggest number that we can imagine. Infinity is also there in the small numbers. And in the negative numbers. And in between everything. For example, he drew a line, marked 0 and marked 1. In between those numbers, there are 0.5 (a half), 0.25 (a quarter), 0.2214 (any random number), and on and on. Then he proposed that it’s not possible to list down all the numbers in between 0 and 1. Not Possible?? Honestly, I would’ve thought that, to list numbers from 0 – 1 I just had to write 0.1, 0.2, 0.3, 0.4… then 0.11, 0.12, 0.13… and so on. And all I have to do is be hardworking to work it out. Well, according to Dr Grime, Georg Cantor, a very dead mathematician, found that no matter how many numbers you’ve listed, anyone could make a NEW number that was not listed. It’s an infinity. Because it’s not possible to end listing numbers in between 0 through 1. There are an infinity of numbers in between 0 and 1. Oh my goodness. What the heck just happened to my brain?

So, how many numbers are there in between 0 through 1?

Is God possibly SO BIG and SO INFINITE that something God created, so small as 0 – 1, is INFINITY to us?


God, am I finally scraping the tip of the iceberg with my spoon on finding out how BIG you actually are? How vast your hold. How deep your understanding. How great your glory. Lord, I want to understand, how wide is east to west for You? Lord, how long is a second? Lord, how much thought have you put into creating us?

Lord, how great is Your love?

If ONE little tiny puny piece of love from You can only be understood as infinity to us, how can we possibly understand how deep, how high, how wide, how strong, how thick, how real, how crushing, how painful, how boundless, how timeless, and how great Your LOVE is for us?


My heart is longing

My head hurts

Doctorbutterfly out





Yes I do have a Big GOD!

You know, I was feeling encouraged by this phrase. It’s a catchy phrase. Pretty popular now. Going around. If you’re a christian, or a facebook-, twitter-, tumblr-, instagram-, or any social platform -user, you’ve probably have heard of this phrase too.

But while I was showering, a thought came to my mind: How biblical is this ‘proverb‘?

I’ve given it some thought. Tried to think of biblical examples or verses that could help me out. Here are my thoughts.

1. Do I have a big God? All scripture and stories tend to point in that direction very specifically. So, yes, affirmative, absolutely.

2. Can I tell my problem that I have a big God? Yes, I think so. I kind of have two point of views in this. FIRSTLY, yes, we SHOULD tell our problems that we have a great God. For me personally, it increases my faith to do so. We can learn from David. Goliath was taunting David saying stuff like “you’re a nerd” and “I’ll stuff you down the toilet in 5 minutes” (1 Samuel 17). But David told his Huge Ginormous Problem and Enemies that “You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the Lord will deliver you into my hands, and I’ll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lord’s, and he will give all of you into our hands.” So this was big talk back in the day. What a daring thing to say from David, a little shepherd boy, to the enemy, all trained-to-kill soldiers. Well, we need to learn to be daring. So yes, Big talk boasting our God is actually good. BUT, here’s my SECOND thought: “Tell your problem you have a big God” makes God sound like a tool. Like a handy Solve-It-All. We’re so used to being fed and people taking care of our problems, that we don’t see the need to take our own action. You know, neither David nor Moses nor Abraham nor Paul nor anyone who were really spiritually mature just told their problem off and expected God to do the work. Could you say Job just sat around discussing his problems with his friends and scratching his itch with a stick? “Did he do anything? Yet God blessed him.” Yes, I think he DID do something. He had faith. And he stood his ground and told his friends that God is good and everything happens for a reason. You need lots of guts to say something that will make you look like a total idiot in front of your friends. And God appreciated that, and blessed Job. Little David told his enemies he had a supreme God, then he acted on his faith, and Sling-Bang-Boom (this is an awesome song btw. I loved this song while growing up. Still do). So we not only have to tell our problems we have a great God, we also gotta do something about it. God is not your nanny whose job is to clean up your soiled diapers.

3. Now last but not least. Where in the bible does it say not to tell God we have big problems? Well, I see the opposite a lot. Did you know, that all the people in the bible, ALL of them (even Jesus), were like us? Human. Problematic. Weak. And like us, they cried out to God. They told God they couldn’t take it any longer. They complained to God. Did God know we (and they) had problems? Yes. Did God know it was coming? Yes. Did we need to inform Him, saying “Hey God, just in case You didn’t see me down here, but I’m in a bit of a rough”? NO, He knows all things! But He WANTS us to come to Him. To cry aloud. To weep. To despair. To be crushed in our spirit. To be totally open and honest. To repent. He wants us to come to Him, longing for comfort. He’s the big father. And He’s never too busy for us. And He wants us to commune with Him. To have a relationship. And the most vital thing in a relationship is communication. Tell God. Sometimes we may feel like we’d be ridiculed by God. We may feel like telling God will look like this: Hey God. And He’d say yeah? Oh I got His attention, you think you can help me? God’d be like what about? And we’d say well my daddy and mommy are fighting again, and I feel like it’s my fault. And God’d be like *snickers* pfft come on. Your problem is like ten billion times smaller than mine. Grow up. And then we hear the disconnected dial tone. God is not like that. He LONGS, yes, let me repeat, LONGS for intimacy with us. He wants to be your daddy. And a real daddy is one who can listen to us and be totally honest with us, and one who we can be totally honest to too. Even with the itsy-bitsy issues. Right? So, yes, I’m pretty sure that God wants us to tell Him our problems. Even how big our problem is. In fact, I’ve noticed how lots of really good conversations with Him come out of this topic.

Anyways, as a conclusion, I’d say this ‘proverb’ Don’t tell God you have a big problem. Tell your problem you have a big God is a bust. It’s not very biblical. Sure, it makes us want to thank God for being there for us. But we don’t grow up in our character and maturity (because we may expect God to solve our impossible situation), and we don’t grow closer to God because we may not feel the need to cry out to Him.


Food for thought.


At your service



To My Readers


been getting more visits these days.


i see people still like to read.

thats awesome news!

i hope i continue to entertain, educate, and inspire!

(if possible lol)



Lets Get Back On Track


so about a month ago my church had an invited guest speaker for our service.

i forgot who it was actually. hehe.

i DO remember something the pastor said.

the story went something like this.

lets make the pastor a he, because i think i remember the pastor being a man haha.

he has a big church.

(he was telling us about how God moved and the church grew)

so they had a big youth service.

and they had a great youth service.

at the end of the service,

they all left as usual.

one stayed back to pack up.

stack the chairs and tidy the place up.

in a meme the pastor might’ve thought

Faith in humanity restored“.

but instead the pastor said, this is the one person i would train to be a leader.

i was thinking, this guy didnt show any leadership qualities,

how did the pastor think of him being a leader?


but what good is a leader with no servanthood heart?

what good is a leader that has no love?

a good leader needs to love God and love people.

and i think a servanthood heart is a manifestation of that.

and come to think of it,

what good is ANYONE as ANYTHING if you do not love God and people?


this is a good test.

you can use this to test people.

very effective way to gauge your friends hearts.


it is also a good test for yourself.



Response Or Choice

Hi Emmeline


i dedicate this song to you





What Is This Love?


i have a theory that any relationship requires two parties to be involved.

whether its siblings, parents, friends, best friends, acquaintances, or spouse.

you need two to call it a relationship.

but love, is a one person involvement.

i can love you without your permission.

i can love you without you knowing.

i can love you even if you downright don’t want it.

imagine if we needed permission to love our babies.

how long do we have to wait for them to learn to respond?

and they probably wont live that long if we didnt love them.


which is why love is a choice.

NOT a response.


but here i am feeling in my heart different from what i believe.

why is it so easy to love and care for strangers without them acknowledging or needing them to show gratitude?

but its so hard to love and care for close friends and family without expecting them to show acknowledgement and gratitude?

its like. i want them to love me back.

sure its a natural response,

we were created to give love and receive love.

but i think its not good to EXPECT it too much.

it only allows room for hurt and disappointment.