Lights! Repentance! OBEDIENCE!

Alrighty, so the reason I’m writing this is because I went for young adults meeting last night and we had an interesting discussion about how God works.

You see, we tend to treat God as a ‘Cosmic Consultant’. What that means is that we ask God if we’re doing the right thing, but we’re actually just hoping God to ‘bless everything we do’ instead of actually asking if we’re on the right track. Which also means that when God does consult us, we just ignore it or give excuse, and continue on the same  path. At the end of the discussion, these were a few things I’ve learned.

Firstly, God asks for obedience in the amount of truth He has revealed to us (or shined light upon. or convicted us.). So if He has convicted us in a lot of things and if our knowledge of the word of God is strong, it means He expects us to be obedient in that amount. But if some of us don’t really know His word and His laws and His teachings and His ways, but we did still get convicted for one or two things, He only expects obedience in those one or two things. We don’t fail by knowing less. He expects us to respond in obedience according to the amount of light that He has already shed on our life. ‘Light’ as in knowledge of His character, who we are in Him, and His laws and ways.

Secondly, the more obedient we are, the more we are ready for more light. And God will slowly reveal more to us. As I said, as light reveals, we could be more aware of His character, who we are in Him, or anything about His laws and how He works. But to those who choose to be disobedient and give excuse, or are just so blind that they don’t think God’s revelation to the situation is better, God will take back what light we have. Slowly of course. Like a Light Dimmer Switch. Either you get more and more light, or less and less. The more you disobey, the more blinded you are to God’s light and truth. The more you obey, the more we see truth. Gradually. This is so real to my experiences in my Christian walk. I tend to go into a time or season of more disobedience and sin. When I do, I will sin more, I will notice God and His love less. I will say the wrong things, hurt people, and choose to be offended as well. Like a downward spiral. The more I sin, the more I sin. But when I choose to come back to God, overcome immoral temptations and choose to love, I see God’s beauty around me more, I feel hope and purpose, I’m more sensitive to God’s peace and guidance, I even say the right things to people to make them feel better without me knowing. Like an upward spiral. I don’t know where I am personally now though. I’m in a pretty confusing place. But we’ll talk about that next time.

Thirdly, I found from the scriptures (I forgot which scripture. I’m sorry!) is that repentance is a big key. Okay, sure, repentance has always been the big key. All the pastors have repeated this over and over. Even I have repeated this to the teens I’m teaching. But, there are two things about repentance that are… more clear to me. Not new, just more clearly defined. Firstly, repentance is not only an act of obedience, it is acting in obedience. Hmm… I’m not sure if I said it the way I am thinking it now. Let me redefine that… (I didn’t think about how to present this properly)… Repentance is when we act in obedience. Hmmm… If we don’t act in obedience, it’s not called repentance. Okay, I think you know my drift. Repentance and obedience are directly connected. So God asks us to repent and turn from our sins. Because that is the meaning or repentance. An act of obedience. A response to conviction. But don’t worry (like I always do. Aaron Stop it!), God didn’t ask us to “Repent and be perfectly free from sin! For if thou hast sinned still, repent thou didnst!” No, don’t beat yourself up and say that you didn’t repent honestly enough just because you fell back into the same sin. God asks us to turn from sin. The action of turning from sin and running from temptation requires time, energy, planning, support, prayer, and a whole lot of fighting. Second thing about the word repentance. Repentance is not asking for forgiveness. I repeat, repentance is NOT the act of asking for forgiveness. Asking forgiveness is a small part and maybe the first part of repentance, but not THE act of repentance. I’m sorry if I’m teaching something different from what your church has taught you. That would be my bad. Not anyone else. This is what I’ve learned from the bible, which I could have messed up big time. It’s up to you guys to teach me. From what I’ve learned, repentance is obedience. Asking for forgiveness is part of what God has asked us to do, but once we are sure of God’s forgiveness, which we can always be sure of, the real act of repentance is obedience. The reason why this was highlighted as something I knew but are suddenly more clear to me is because I always hear people talk about repentance as a guilt trip and begging for mercy. God doesn’t reveal to us our wrongs to make us feel bad. He wants us to turn our foolish ways and do the right thing which is also the smart thing. We need to focus on being obedient rather than fighting sin. We need to focus on thanking God instead of doing the guilt trip all the time. Sigh, this is so me haha. I can’t believe God has to use me to speak to myself… Anywho…

I hope this long post has spoken to you like the discussion last night has spoken to me. And I hope to blog more. If you have any questions for me to answer about my life or about any difficulty you have with God’s word, or how it applies to life (I love discussing life), feel free to ask. It would probably give me more to blog about anyways. If this has helped, do give it a thumbs up. Click the subscribe button to be up to date with new content. And click on my face for more goodness from previous posts.

Acts 9

A Disciple


verses 1-20

Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.

“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing.So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.

In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision,“Ananias!”

“Yes, Lord,” he answered.

The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”

“Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.”

But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”

Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus. At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God.




this is a very important turning event for a powerful man we all know as Paul (Saul was his old name hehe).

Paul was a very successful missionary and planted many many churches.

and he has such a dramatic story of how he was at first a persecutor of the church,

God changed him, and he started being a powerful man in the early church history.


but i cant help but notice that this story is not just about Paul/Saul and Jesus.

there’s this disciple called Ananias.


Ananias prayed for Paul.

but is that all there is to the story?

i think not.

i think God wanted to teach Ananias to faithful and obedient.

i think God wanted to teach me about being faithful and obedient too through Ananias.

let me explain.


when Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.”

do you think he was just trying to double check if God made a mistake?

just in case he heard wrong maybe?

i think not.

i think after hearing the horrors and stories about what Saul/Paul was doing, and after hearing that Saul was coming into HIS town to look for people like HIM, with Ananias’ life in danger,

i think, that Ananias didn’t actually want to pray for Saul.

would you?

i wouldn’t even want to meet or go anywhere near this Saul.


this reminds me of the story of Jonah.

i think the story of Jonah is more about his rebellion than about him being eaten and vomited from by a fish just because he didnt taste that good.


God asked Jonah to preach to a people (Ninevites if im not mistaken).

the worst people at that time.

the most sinful.


and Jonah absolutely hated them.

they were doing totally detestable things.

things God hated. it’s gross. and horrible. and yucky.

but God wanted Jonah to preach to them.

Jonah was sure he wouldn’t be able to get his message into their thick skulls,

also, he hated them and wanted God to punish them instead.

so instead of travelling towards Nineveh,

he traveled the total opposite direction.


But eventually, after spending some time in the belly of the whale (just an expression),

he decided it’s wiser to be following and obeying God’s will.

he went and preached to the Ninevites.

and what he was afraid of happened:

they totally repented.

totally and wholly.


its so amazing that because of ONE man.

one obedient man, such a big change could happen.

of course, it’s God who did it, not Jonah.

but God wanted to use a willing hearted man.


Ananias trusted God and met Saul despite what he felt about Saul.

Saul was blind, and if God healed him, how did Ananias know that Saul wouldnt just take his sword out and kill him on the spot?

shouldnt Ananias just chop Saul’s head off while he was vulnerable?

but Ananias obeyed God anyways.


you know, i do have a problem with authoritative figures sometimes.

namely my parents and God Himself.

i like to be disobedient.

i like to think myself above the law because i think i know better.

i think i know the purpose and motive behind the law, and because of that i think i can break some laws for my convenience as long as i knew the real purpose of some laws.

but i see myself being more and more disobedient from there on.

it becomes ok.

sometimes i don’t want to obey.

and since i’ve disobeyed other laws, i think this other law? should be fine as well.

its so small matter.


sometimes God speaks to me clearly like He spoke to Jonah and Ananias.

but sometimes it’s just more comfortable or more fun to not obey what God wants.


but i have to remember. its not about me.

it’s about God and what He wants and what He has planned for me and for people around me.

obeying Him not only would benefit me, it would benefit so many people.

look at what Jonah and Ananias and all the people in the bible did.

look at the simple things they did and how many people they have impacted.

Ananias just prayed for Saul.

probably hung out with him for a while during recovery.

Boom churches all over Asia.


God changed Saul’s name to Paul, and used him so mightily for the extension of God’s kingdom.

Ananias was part of that.

but disciple Ananias needed to be obedient to impact the world.



he needed to choose obedience.

so do I.



Acts 5

Verses 2-3


But with his wife’s agreement he kept part of the money for himself and turned the rest over to the apostles.

Peter said to him, “Ananias, why did you let Satan take control of you and make you lie to the Holy Spirit by keeping part of the money you received for the property?


okay, the first thought i had.

Did i just see Peter calling Ananias’s wife “Satan”?

thats just mean. i hope Peter doesnt do that to MY wife when she makes a mistake hahaha.

so i checked in the later verses, Peter did NOT call Sapphira (Ananias’s wife) “Satan” while confronting her.


so how does Satan take control of us and make us sin?

Well. he just does.

If God can use us to bless others,

Satan can use us to stumble others.


Also, I found a key word.

…why did you let Satan take control of you…


Satan cannot use us if we don’t let him.

He can’t touch us or do anything to us, if we don’t let him.

choices. choices. choices.

yet, we DO allow him, don’t we?

i have concluded that we humans are just weak.

we are weak because we naturally do bad things.

the word of God says that we are born sinners.

Ps 51:5

Surely I was sinful at birth,
    sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

that makes sense, since everyone in the world agrees that it is easier to give in to doing wrong,

and it is so hard to decide to do right.


but it is possible to do good and we need to strive for holiness.

this is a reminder to myself.

choices. choices. choices.




Verses 12-16


 Many miracles and wonders were being performed among the people by the apostles. All the believers met together in Solomon’s Porch. Nobody outside the group dared join them, even though the people spoke highly of them. But more and more people were added to the group—a crowd of men and women who believed in the Lord. As a result of what the apostles were doing, sick people were carried out into the streets and placed on beds and mats so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by. And crowds of people came in from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing those who were sick or who had evil spirits in them; and they were all healed.


this reminds me of a thought i’ve been having some days ago.

what is the church, really?

why do people come to church?

we come to church because we admit that we are broken, and sick, and needy, and we are looking for the answer.

we come back to church because we have found the answer and we need more.


but i’m reminded that Jesus said He wasnt here for the rich and the healthy.

He was here for the sick and the needy.

i think that as a church, we need to be more open to these people.

and we need to remember that we are like a hospital of some sort.

when we say “i went to the hospital”, surely someone will ask “oh what happened?”


because the hospital is the solution of a problem.

and in the hospital the problem is usually a physical problem, and that is the place we trust to have a cure.


but everyone in the world has spiritual problems. whether we know it or not.

 we should be the solution of a problem.

people with problems will come to church and be touched by God.

just like people flocking to go and touch Peter’s shadow to be healed.


let us be a church that is a vessel of God’s spiritual, mental, and emotional solutions.




Chosen Ones



we are God’s chosen ones.

just like the Israelites.

God gave so much to them.

blessing upon blessings.

mercy and grace upon mercy and grace.

but He also commands them to obey Him.

these days i’m reading of a time when the Israelites have disobeyed God one too many times.

even after warnings.


it reminds me of someone.


i have been chosen.

i been given blessings upon blessings.

yet, i fail to grasp the ultimate holiness that i’m supposed to reflect in my life.

how do i reflect Jesus if i am the way i am in public?

how do i reflect Jesus if i am the way i am in private?


i keep wondering why these Israelites just fail to obey God.

it’s so so clear that they should.

yet, they don’t see it.

then i reflect on myself.

i’m not a bad example of a weak human myself.