I Really REALLY Want To Kiss You Right Now

Exerpted from How to Date with No Regrets by Debra K. Fileta, from True Love Dates

 

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“I really want to kiss you right now.”

There is probably no other phrase that can get a heart to flutter more. To some, a kiss is just a kiss, but in reality it’s so much more. Being so closely connected to someone through the touching of lips — it’s a moment of vulnerability, of intimacy, of trust. It’s the moment when two hearts connect through the avenue of the physical.

“But I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he went on to say.

It was late November. The beauty of fall had dissolved into the cold dark evenings of winter. John and I were hanging out at his apartment on a Sunday afternoon, watching a football game. It was about five months after we had met, and our friendship was budding into a dating relationship.

I can’t tell you what game was on or who won, because the entire two hours, I was trying to figure out what to do with the strong feelings that I had for him. I was falling for him hard, and everything within me was hoping he would just lean over and give me a kiss. Some sort of sign that we were on the same page.

The funny thing is that I thought I was acting pretty nonchalant. It’s not like I was staring into his eyes with my lips puckered. But somehow he saw right through me. The other day, while we were reminiscing about that moment, he told me that my eyes had said it all; it had been obvious that I wanted him to kiss me.

His response? Not yet.

I was floored. In my experience, it was rare to meet a young man who would turn down a kiss. Don’t get me wrong, I know of some people who saved their first kiss for marriage. I respect and admire their self-control. But it wasn’t something I was accustomed to.

So what does a kiss have to do with dating with no regrets? Everything.

One of the hardest things about dating is learning to live beyond the moment.

Caught up in the whirlwind of passion, it’s so easy to choose what feels good without considering how that choice will affect the future. It’s easy to live for the moment, isn’t it?

Choosing to eat that chocolate bar staring at you from the vending machine when you’re trying to kick extra calories. Choosing to watch that movie on TV that caught your attention when you should be studying for your chemistry test. Living for the here and now might not cause major damage every time, but choosing immediate gratification in your dating relationships is a recipe for regret.

I learned a lot about dating upward from John. Looking back on my dating history, I definitely have regrets, but he can honestly tell you that he doesn’t have many. You see, his goal never was simply to snag a date; it was to honor God and draw closer to him throughout all of his interactions with me. He was willing to say no to what he wanted for the sake of what was holy.

One of the biggest mistakes Christians make is to believe that holiness has anything to do with religiousness. When we think of becoming more like Jesus, our minds go immediately to “the spiritual.” I find myself getting caught in this trap too, believing that becoming more like Jesus means more prayer, more church services, and more ministry activity.

Though we do come to understand Jesus’ heart through such activities, I think we miss much of what it means to become like Jesus when we fail to honor him through ordinary, day-to-day things. Like it or not, if we compartmentalize our lives into “spiritual” and “nonspiritual” activities, a huge percentage will fall into the latter category. Our lives are made up of mundane activities like eating and drinking and sleeping.

But this is the beauty of living a life with no regrets: it is in the ordinary that we can most see God as extraordinary. The Bible puts it this way:

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” – 1 Corinthians 10:31

Becoming like Jesus has little to do with what you are doing, and everything to do with how you are doing it.

We are asked to glorify God in all we do, so what does that mean in dating?

When our hearts are fixed where true joys are found, we will experience no regrets in our season of dating, only lessons learned. When our eyes are set on Jesus, the change that takes place in our hearts has eternal significance.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” – 2 Corinthians 4:18

In your season of dating, fix your eyes on Jesus. Don’t become so consumed by your pursuit of the opposite sex that it becomes your idol, prioritized above all else. Dating with no regrets means keeping your focus on Jesus, so that no matter what happens in your relationships with others, your relationship with God remains intact.

Your Turn

Looking back on your dating relationships, do you have regrets? If so, what are you doing to work through them and to protect yourself (and your dating teens) from future regrets and teach them how to date in a God-honoring way?

Whistle – Flo Rida

Song Dissection

if you havent watched the music video

its here.

but honestly don’t bother.

So as i promised i tried watching the music video and reading the lyrics.

this is my first time really watching it and really trying to figure the lyrics out.

kinda failed attempt really.

i’ll tell you why in a bit.

and this is my personal critic about the whole experience.

i had to do a three part study.

first let me tell you what i think of the music video.

it sucked.

no logic. no timing sequence.

it is only connected to the lyrics by the word “whistle”

with clips of a sexy girl lip whistling.

and i think that lip is the most sexiest thing in the whole vid haha.

not the girls in bikini.

not the party girls.

not the swimming girls.

not the girls shaking their booty.

the lips were prolly the most sexy thing there.

my conclusion:

next part.

the music.

i’d be honest, the music is rather catchy.

the beat does get my head bobbing.

and the whistling tune is cool with the beat going.

but the music video really spoiled what thoughts i had about the music.

and for the last and most important part:

the lyrics.

im gonna highlight some of the lyrics.

but honestly, i think its a bunch of nonsense where he tries to rhyme party talk and dirty talk in the same sentence.

da chorus:

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I’m gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

hokay.

there is no way the message of this grammatically incorrect sentence says: Dear, would you whistle a sweet tune for me?

i dunno how to make this sound any cleaner, but its a plain invitation to suck my *lollipop*.

sorry for the harsh language.

seriously, its so sick how unclassy superstars can be.

if i was a sexy girl, i would never ever ever want to be paid to show my body on his music video.

what is he portraying the women of today as?

gosh.

da verse:

(Look) I’m betting you like people
And I’m betting you love freak mode
And I’m betting you like girls that give love to girls
And stroke your little ego

i dunno what to say about this.

1# everybody likes people right?

2# freak mode as in?

3# girls that give love to girls? you mean lesbians? you mean katy perry kissing a girl and liking it?

4# “stroking your little ego” just sounds like a sex scene from an adult novel.

another part of da verse:

Bet your lips spin back around corner
Slow it down baby take a little longer

ah i give up.

da bridge:

Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby
Whi-whistle baby, whistle baby
Whistle baby, whistle baby
Whi-whistle baby, whistle baby

this is probably the cleanest few lines in the whole song.

da verse again:

It’s like everywhere I go
My whistle ready to blow

he’s probably saying he’d like to have sex

or be given oral sex

by anybody anytime anywhere.

da verse:

Told me she’s not a pro
It’s okay, it’s under control
Show me soprano, ’cause girl you can handle
Baby we start snagging, you come up in part clothes

the first two lines i think is referring to if a girl is unsure or has never given oral sex before

and flo rida is reassuring her that everythings ok.

the next two lines i have no idea.

however i think “you come up in part clothes” just means “you should take your clothes OFF”

da verse once more:

Hope you ain’t got no issue, you can do it
Give me the perfect pitch, ya never lose it

this one is sad, because there are real issues and debate about oral sex.

some people are against it. and of course, some girls are unsure about it.

but here he goes again doing his reassuring thing.

last time for da verse:

Go girl you can twerk it
Let me see you whistle while you work it
I’mma lay it back, don’t stop it
‘Cause I love it how you drop it, drop it, drop it on me
Now, shawty let that whistle blow-oh, oh oh
Yeah, baby let that whistle blow-oh oh!

i dont really know what to say about this.

im such a fail critic.

i’m pretty disgusted by what radio stations are playing over and over again.

what my siblings and their friends would be listening on the radio.

all this brainwashing.

gosh. no wonder people these days are so ready to jump into sex.

no wonder romance is not a big deal anymore.

no wonder love only comes after.

sheesh.

conclusion:

i really dislike how he repeats these few statements:

1# i really want you to give me oral sex.

2# you really want to give me oral sex.

3# it’s ok. its not wrong.

4# you’re a sexy girl, you’re supposed to do this. and also please take your clothes off thanks.

this is my personal opinion.

if you disagree with me, do feel free to let me know.

Sex

So we had a teen forum about sex.

It was separated by gender though. Boys in one room and girls in the other.

Very interesting questions. Eye opening answers.

Questions by the participants will be italicized. Participants in this case are all teenage boys. Answers are not by me, but by married men. I wrote them down. =)

And now I will share it (take note that some of the answers and questions have been altered to be more specific or understandable by readers).

Let us begin.

Why sex?

– Sex is God’s command. It is mentioned in the first chapter of the first book in the bible.

If we have already had sex, and we are in regret. What next? How to reconcile?

– Come before God, repent. Turn Around. Total Breakoff. Don’t do it again. An act of sexual intercourse is a soul tie. There’s no such thing as a ‘One night stand’.

– For girls, there’s a second chance virginity. To be holy for marriage.

– Don’t feel condemned (The devil tells us we are not good enough). Talk to leaders and mentors. If you don’t have any, find one. Good spiritual mentors.

– God gives second chances.

Is it a sin to create babies without sexual intercourse? Sperm injection.

– Bringing babies into the world is a serious matter. Life. Soul. Not good. It is a selfish act. Better to just adopt a child.

Don’t flirt with temptation. Because it opens up doors to sin.

 

 

Making out, heavy petting. Sin?

– Yes. As long as we look at a girl lustfully, it is a sin. There is no way we can make out and do heavy petting with a girl without imagining things or arousing ourselves.

Masturbation?

– Sin. The sin is in what you think. To masturbate, we have to think of the action. That is sin. And we have to think of doing it with someone. That is also sin. Bible says “if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away.” And “if your hand—even your stronger hand—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.” Why did it talk about the hand? Because he was referring to masturbation.

If I masturbate, am I still a virgin? What is a virgin?

– Definition of a virgin? For guys it doesn’t matter.

– Our priority. Who do we hurt when we masturbate? God or wife? or both?

Oral Sex?

– Wrong.

Wet Dreams?

– We can’t control our dreams. But we have to check ourselves. We are visual beings. Where did the visual ideas come from? Only if we’ve seen or imagined things, then we will dream it.

We Struggle because we always Entertain the thoughts

What is the physical problems with sex before marriage?

– Many times we hear that oh it’s okay to have sex since we will be getting married anyways. But there is NO GUARANTEE. Even the night before the wedding, you’re still not married yet. One of you can still run off or cheat on you.

– We violate a person.

– Condom safe sex is a myth.

– STDs. Herpes, HPV, AIDS. Some through touch, some through fluids, some through blood.

– Oral sex CAN transfer STDs.

Homosexuals. “I’m gay but I don’t practice it”. Do gays go to heaven? How to encourage a gay friend to change?

– No gays do not go to heaven. But God can forgive sins if repentant.

– These people usually have an absent father or father figure in their lives.

– Definition of gay: in an intimate relationship with someone of the same sex. Even if no intercourse.

– Accept gays as friend. DO NOT CONDEMN THEM. Gay has the same weight of sin as any sin, even stealing or lying. He is as much a sinner as you. Don’t condemn. If you cant be patient with them, DON’T try to help them with their problem. They need extra care and patience.

– If you are gay? God did not make you that way. It is a psychological problem and can be cured.

How to deny the thoughts? HOW TO STOP?!?!?!

– Two possibilities: 1. Supernatural power of God; a miracle! 2. Work super hard.

– “Bounce your eyes” The eyes will automatically detect a girl and bounce towards her. But you have to bounce it away right after that.

– Stop feeding the SUMO inside. We are fighting against a supernatural Sumo wrestler who is bigger and stronger than us. Every time we go head to head against it, we will lose. Instead, we need to starve it. Stop feeding the Sumo Wrestler the visual and the imagination it needs to grow. Slowly slowly, one day we will beat him.

The best gift we can give our wife or husband is our virginity

It Was Downhill From There

 

 

I have a few moments in the public library so im posting some thoughts i had last night.

(in fact i had more than a lot of thoughts last night. i couldnt sleep for more than 2 hours while i was on my bed thinking over thinking)

 

 

 anyways, one thought i had was the consistency of going over the edge once a couple starts smooching.

i had a sudden revelation. (i had alot of those last night as well)

our passion and emotion is like a big heavy boulder on the edge of a cliff.

this is the way God has built us.

our passion and emotion reacts to acts of passion. i think.

like the big heavy boulder reacts to gravity.

once it starts rolling down the hill of passion, you cant stop it.

most of my friends (consistently) say that they can control themselves.

that they are just taking one step (deeper act of passion) at a time.

and that they will stop when they have to. at the right time.

 

the fact is (and we all know it), once this boulder starts rolling, we just want to get deeper and deeper very very quickly.

i mean, light kisses on the cheek is not that bad right?

i mean, since its okay to kiss the cheek, what about accidently kissing on the lips eh?

and you know, just doing a little smooching. everyone does it.

touching is always okay as long as theres a piece of cloth in between our skin right?

and dirty words can never hurt anyone.

 

 

Right?

 

 

 

I tell you the truth.

you cant say ”i’ll just roll the boulder one centimeter down over the edge”

it may seem like it’s still very near the edge where it started so its not too bad.

but then, you realise that with that tiny push, everything comes tumbling down. very quickly.

tell me i’m absolutely wrong.

 

for this reason, i have a deep respect for couples who respect their spouse even after they are engaged.

even right till the night before the wedding there is love and respect.

i believe this shows the respect and dedication that they will have for each other even after marriage.

i think sexual respect is the highest and the toughest form of respect.

 

if your spouse can sexually respect you now,

how much more can he or she respect you in other aspects of your life in the future.

 

 

dont let your passion and emotions be a tumbling boulder.

you owe your future spouse that much.