Focus

I have to admit. I have been putting a lot of focus on everything else other than God. Relationships, work, and even ministry. I’m taking God for granted. So here are a few things I think I need to start doing:

1. Read. I need to take some alone time to improve myself. Intellectually and spiritually. I do have some books at home, not a lot, but enough spiritual and ministry books to keep me occupied for the year or so. It would also definitely help me understand God more and keep me close to Him.
2. Write. I’ve always wanted to teach and say something. I just got to do it. Probably need to take time out to blog again. I still have a draft blog post from a devotion that I wrote for about a month, but haven’t finished.
3. Wake up earlier to pray. I notice that I pray more in the morning after I wake than than at night before I sleep. So I guess I’m more focused in the mornings. The only problem is my life culture is just that I do all my extracurricular activities at night. So I end up doing everything that takes up extra time till late at night, and find it very difficult to wake up early. Which means: SLEEP EARLY. Also, mornings have a fresh morning smell that helps connect me to a thankful mood a lot easier.

What else should I do? I don’t know. These 3 things are hard enough. Thank you.

 

Here’s a post I read today about Christ increasing and I decreasing. Good advice.

 

Monkey Business

There was once in my life when a whole story that surrounded me happened while I was asleep. I’ll try to make it sound as dramatic as I can (And as well as I can remember how my mom told it).

One afternoon, I was a-napping. This afternoon happened about maybe 15 years ago. I was still a kid. My younger brother, who was probably still a toddler, thought it would be a good idea to put some cream on my feet. My bed wasn’t a tall bed, and he probably felt like I needed some pampering. So, he generously applied as much body cream on my entire leg as possible. He didn’t forget some of my arms and maybe put some on my face as well. And he also put some on my clothes, just in case.
My mom found him with cream all over his hands and I think some on the floor. She also found an almost empty bottle of cream. And an eldest son sleeping peacefully. Unaware of the mess that was not around him, but on him.
Honestly, I don’t remember any of that. This is what I do remember. I remember waking up feeling a little weird. Like a sort of dry-slippery. Too smooth. Like I could fall if I took a step out of my bed. I remember not understanding why. And I could remember my mom looking very very very amused, like something was very wrong yet very right at the same time.

As you would probably have guessed by now, my mom cleaned up all the mess, wiped me down, wiped my brother down, wiped the floor, and cleared everything up, so that when I woke up, there was no evidence of anything wrong. So this story was really my mom’s story than mine. A story about how children learned from adults how to act like adults.

Mellow?

So Recently

 

I haven’t been able to sleep well. I’ve had a non-stop runny-nose. I can’t think straight. I get disappointed with myself for silly little things. I’ve had a problematic stomach. I can’t be bothered to be productive. My right ear hurt. I take afternoon naps (now that’s extreme). I miss my friends. I get tired easily. I start every sentence with the word “I”. I’m even writing in a proper sentence structure with grammar and punctuation. Oh man, this is bad. Maybe it’s the haze.

So if you haven’t heard, Xanga is going to make some major changes. It’s either going to just close down entirely, or revamp Xanga through the WordPress engine to Xanga 2.0 or something like that. Actually I’m not too sure about what’s going to happen. But I do know that it’s going to affect me. Because I like it here.

I’m really going to miss this place. It’s been a fun ride. Just blabbering my thoughts to the public world and expecting the world to respond. I also use this place as a motivation to read. Thought that maybe if I read more, I had more to share about. It worked. This blog motivated me to think deep. This blog motivated me to think deep yet express and present it in a fun and acceptable manner. This blog allowed me to express my thoughts about controversial issues. Why do I sound like I’m writing a eulogy? Maybe because this place has been a part of me for such a long time. This is definitely an emotional attachment.

Either way, whether Xanga closes or whether it stays alive with 2.0, I’ve decided that I will take my thoughts and words and express it through WordPress. I’ve created an account (don’t try to guess my username or look for it) there in the past in the hopes of creating a formal blog where I could maybe write teachings or devotionals. More serious stuff instead of my usual messy thought-diarrhea’s. But I guess I’m just going to move there because this ship may sink/upgrade.

 

Dear XangaTeam,

It’s been a great journey. Hope you do great in your future endeavors.

God bless.

 

I’m Sleepy, It’s Midnight, Perfect Time For

100 Girly Questions Survey

 

Do you wear: alot of makeup, some makeup, no makeup.

That’s not a proper question. But I think I know what you’re up to. By definition of makeup, you mean anything I put on my face to enhance my features? Yes. I put my face cream to keep my skin from getting to dry.

 

Whats your favorite makeup?

Mascara. Oh wait. You mean on me?!

 

Could you go out in public without make up?

Uhhh. It’s like asking if I mind going to space without my glasses. Duhh.

 

Do you do your nails oftenly?

Do what? And how do you do something ‘oftenly’?

 

What color are your fingernails?

Reddish, pinkish, whitish. Depends on where and when.

 

How about your toe nails?

Reddish, pinkish, whitish. Waitttt. Are you asking what colour I’ve painted it?! This IS some weird girly survey.

 

Heels or flats?

I like it when girls wear heels. I personally like wearing flats. Can’t find any heels with my size anyways.

 

Eyeliner or mascara?
I gave my answer above.

 

Lip gloss or lipstick?
I’ve never tried lipstick. Hmmm. I heard chocolate lipstick tastes nice.

 

Eyelash curler or tweezer?
Eyelash curlers definitely. How in the world do I defend myself with some tweezers? Gosh.

 

Vans or converse?
What sort of a vehicle is a converse?

 

Nike or adidas?
I’d work for Pixar.

 

Myspace or facebook?

Facebook is too addictive. Myspace has too many weird people. Wait… you mean facebook? Is this another make up question?

 

Pink or red?
Pink is just a whiter version of red. So. Pink.

Rock or pop
Definitely rock. But I do like the young Britney spears pop.

 

What color is your bra?
Uhhhh. I checked and double checked. I’m not wearing any right now.

 

Are you wearing skinny jeans?
No.

 

You think you set or follow trends?
I’m a weirdo. So yes I set trends.

 

Have you ever done something just to fit in?
Yes. I learned to converse in Chinese.

 

Do you go to the mall oftenly?
Quite oftenly maybe not. Probably. But sometimes I quite oftenly maybe do.

 

Do you have many friends?

FB? Or real life? I have FB friends who are actually NOT my friends. So it would seem that I have more FB friends than real friends. Yet, I also have many real life friends who DON’T have an FB account. So maybe my FB friends = real life friends. I have that answers your question.

 

Do you dislike any of your friends?

Of course. Unfortunately, some of them are the ones I use MORE energy to try to love.

 

Whats your BESTEST friend’s ever name?

Honestly I see a huge grammatical mistake. But I shall humor you. Right now it’s Jeremy (he’s been my bestie since the first week of primary one. And at that time, we still had trouble remembering each others names). Yet also Ivan and Danielle, though I haven’t hung with them or had quality time with them recently.

 

Have you ever had a down moment with that person?
That “persons” you mean? This is so non interactive. Down moments? Yes. With every one of them.

 

Most memorable moment with that person?
Gah. You’re only the best I ever had. I love all the most boringest moments (my love language is time). And also the adventures <3. =P

 

Who was your most recent missed call from?

You want me to check my phone? Gosh. You think I’m a girl? I don’t always have my phone with me. (5mins later) okay here goes. TC Hsieh. Hmmm. That’s probably nath trying to contact me.

 

Who was the last person you called?
Last person I miss-called was my mom. The last person I called was Jeremy.

 

What does your 5th message in your inbox say?

It says something about them watching movie at 9pm. And asking if I wanna join.

 

Who was it from?
Danielle

 

Single or taken?
Who? Danielle? Or me? Or my girlfriend?

 

If so, by who?
Well. I’m sure the womens volleyball was won by the Brazilians.

 

What color are your eyes
Really really really really really dark green. Its practically black.

 

Whats your favorite color?

Hmmm. Actually pink. Only real men wear pink.

 

What song are you listening to right now?
Skillet. Better than drugs. Chorus: You’re better than drugs, Your love is like wine~

 

Do you like to dance?
No. I’ve tried. A few times. I’ve tried hard. I’ve also made a fool of myself pretty well.

 

Do you like to sing?
Yes. BUT. I do NOT sing well.

 

Do you believe in
Yes. Yes I do. I totally agree in

 

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Yes. Because we are called to love. God didn’t say “love only after the second sight”

 

How about true love?
Oh please stop with your vague questions. Do I believe in true love? Yes. I tend to blog about it in my xanga.

 

Do you believe in bros before hoes?

Are you calling my sister a whore? I’m definitely closer to my sister than my brothers.

 

Are you a whore?

You mean prostitute? Thats a very deep question. I have prostituted my body to things that I shouldn’t have. Yes. I have prostituted my mind to things that I shouldn’t have. Yes. I have prostituted my emotions to things I shouldn’t have. Yes. Does that make me a whore?

 

Are most of your friends guys or girls?
All of my friends are guys or girls. Yes. Because I don’t have friends who are guys AND girls.

 

Favorite candy?
Yes, that’s my favourite candy.

 

Favorite ice cream flavor?
Vanilla

 

Ever cried yourself to sleep?
Not that I remember. Maybe when I was really young. Right now, if I cry, I will NOT be able to sleep.

 

Ever slept on your computer?

Nope.

 

Longest you’ve used your computer?
Dunno.

 

 

Favorite smiley?
hahaha

 

Are you addicted to something?
Cola ham moi and Facebook

 

Do you consider yourself a myspace freak?
uhhhh. Is this a really old survey?

 

Do you edit your profile oftenly?
I oftenly do not. I do not have enough pics of myself. I do not usually allow pics of me to be taken.

 

Have you ever been in a fist fight?
Nope.

 

Do you want to?

Nope.

 

Have you ever thought about having sex?
Of course. It’s such an interesting thought. I’ve thought more about NOT having sex yet though. Abstinence has more benefits than pre-marital sex. How is this connected to fist fighting?

 

Have you ever babysat, if so, who?
Every single one of my siblings.

 

Have you ever waited sooo long for something you wanted to happen so bad?
Yes.

 

Are you content with your life?

Are you? Find out what life is about at Alpha Course! You get to ask questions burning in your heart. And you will find out about what life is really about yourself.

 

Who is your role model?
Jesus.

 

Whats your best feature?
People like to hang with me? I have the courage to apologise.

 

Your worst feature?
I’m pretty impatient. I put expectations on people when I shouldn’t. I’m pretty lazy. And I’m very disobedient.

 

Are you racist?
Yes. I hate the Chinese for hating all the other races.

 

Are you a sexist?
Yes. I fear the female race.

 

Do you discriminate?
Yes. I think all pigs are pork.

 

Do you talk shit?
Errrrr

 

Have you ever talked shit?
Ummmmm

 

Do you care about what other people think about you?
Yes. I do. But I choose not to act on it. What defines me is not what people think of me but how I deal with what they think.

 

Have you ever not been yourself to impress someone?
Yes. I tried to dress up handsomely. I even tried to wear accessory. But. You know. Someone didn’t care anyways.

 

Have you ever done yourself VERY pretty with so much makeup and a whole different outfit to make a guy like you?

I don’t think so.

 

Have you ever betrayed someone?
Yes.

 

Water or soda?

Water. Actually. What is soda?

 

Coke or pepsi?
Coke. Ham moi.

 

Look behind you, whats behind you?

 

Have you ever been rejected or dumped?
Yes. And no. I asked if I could join my friends for dinner. My parents didn’t allow me.

 

Have you ever thought about how school would be like if someone didnt go there?
You mean someone? No I have not thought of that question. But then again. Who is someone? Everyone?

 

Do you hate anyone?
I hate the devil for lying to me and my bro’s and sis’ non-stop.

 

Do you love anyone?

Yes.

 

Have you ever gotten drunk?
Fortunately no.

 

Would you pass a drug test?
I don’t know. Lets try.

 

Whats your locker number?
My locker doesn’t have any number. My number doesn’t have any lockers.

 

Do you have good hygiene?

So I tried counting if there WAS 100 questions here. There is only 93. I think.

 

Have you ever danced infront of the mirror?

Yes. During dance practice.

 

Ever checked out someone from the same sex?
On FB?

 

Ever bit your toenail?
Not with my teeth.

 

Ever slept outside your house?
Yes. I’ve slept away from my house many many times.

 

Been to a sleepover?
Going to one soon. I hope.

 

What’s your wallpaper?

Avatar- Last airbender characters when they are old.

 

11th person on your contact list?
Adeline. My current classmate.

 

Laptop or desktop?

Sigh. I’m tired. I would like a desktop.

 

Ever asked for money?
That’s my ONLY way of income.

 

Did you enjoy this survey?

No.