There is hope. We can be fixed.
God, life, people, music, and a humble trainwreck of colourful ponderings
Man how time really flies.
I’ve got a few projects going on. Thank God for projects. Hope at least one of it makes me rich.
Very soon, I’ll be married.
We’ll grow old. And die.
I thank God that He was with me the whole way.
Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you,
I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10
So what happened to blogging? It used to be the thing. Now people ain’t got “no time to read” blog posts anymore. Even if the blog post is one sentence long.
But people have hours and hours to scroll through tumblr and instagram? Hmmm..
Hello Funny Bunnies! That title was just a lame marketing scheme to attract visits. This post will have nothing to do with bunnies or funnies.
So recently I had a dream of a friend of mine. I woke up feeling pretty good about that dream. It wasn’t any ordinary dream. I’m pretty excited to tell you about it. It went a little like this:-
-Start Dream Mode-
She (yes, female friend) and me was just sitting around being bored.
-End Dream Mode-
It totally was something like that. I’m not exaggerating. And I actually woke up happy.
Here’s the thing; I actually do tell people that my primary ‘love language‘ is Time.
Btw, have you tested for your Love Language yet? According to some author or researcher or astronaut or something, there are definitely mainly about maybe five or six or five love languages that define us. Mostly sometimes we will have an elementary and secondary love language. There are about five or six: Time, Money, Hugs, Bears, Cars, and Women, I think. I’m pretty sure I got it right, I learnt this online, so it’s gotta be legit.
Anywho, I do tell people that the way I think is most meaningful way to show that I care for someone is by spending time with that person. Quality time. And I appreciate time spent by people to hang out with me or do things with me. I mean, I even like it if we can just sit around and be bored yet not feel uncomfortable or awkward at all. That is the definition of Ohana. Ohana means Comfortable. I’m sure you knew that quote from Braveheart. And guess what? Waking up feeling good just cuz of a dream like that just confirms my suspicions of my love language. Less than three.
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Here’s a totally unrandom fact for some of you Bunnies out there. I like metal. Not metal as in FeMale = IronMan. Nope. i’m talking about the Music genre. Metal isn’t really a popular genre. Especially among Chinese who live in Malaysia, or Christians, or comic nerds, or Sudoku fans, or people who have no fashion sense, or owners of pink cars. And I am the combination of all that (except the pink car part. My car is Magenta). Yet, I find myself oddly attracted to Metal Music. Especially Christian Metal. Because they actually have good music. Yes, it’s not just the usual stuff made from the same beat and the same four chords with the same lyrics as anyone else. It’s music to my ears. For those of you who want to try Christian Metal, here are some of my favs. Blindside, Emery, Love and Death, Underoath, P.O.D., and now I’m really getting into The Devil Wears Prada. I have to say in advance to those teens or parents who sit in my car, I’m really sorry for confusing your ears this way. People have told me that they didn’t like ‘noisy’ music. I find that odd. But I can’t totally disagree either. My musical ears haven’t really gotten used to Death Metal yet, so I’m not into that. Yet. Maybe.
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Here’s a verse that has been repeated to me this week. It could not have been a coincidence, so let me share it with you.
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Philippians 4:8
P.S. I need to do an extensive study on this verse one day. P.S.2 Virtue is a powerful word.
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Okay, enough about me. Let’s hear from you. If you could control an element, what would it be? I’d like to be able to Lightbend. Oh yeah, total control over the spectrum of light. Give me that, or give me Heatbending. Heh.
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Sorry I haven’t been blogging in a while. I know you hope I’d shut up already.
Onara!
There, I said ‘Onara’ like you told me to.
Joey is a super busy lady. I told Joey to learn to prioritize, then teach it to the youths. There was a quiet pause for a few seconds. Then she laughed.
I knew that laugh all too well. I knew what she was thinking. Cuz I was thinking it too. It’s not gonna happen.
Not that I look down on her. Just that, it’s the same for me too. These days, youths are too busy being busy. There is too much to prioritize. We have too many important things to do. We have too many urgent things to do. We also have too many unimportant things to do. Too much entertainment to catch up with. Some entertainment these days even REQUIRE our constant attention, or even DAILY attention. Oh my goodness. We used to control how we entertain ourselves. How the tides have turned.
Entertainment is laughing at you.
I’m laughing at you. I’m laughing at me.
I’m angry at myself.
I believe that God is patient.
Someone once shared that a guy needs to make a move on a girl quick. Or else the girl would have moved on to another guy. One argument is that ‘Oh, God’s timing is perfect’ and if she is the one, she’ll break up with the other guy and come back. Another argument is that if a guy is slow or fearful or is oblivious to her, he’s not worth keeping anyways. I don’t disagree with either. Nor do I agree with any of those statements. I do believe that God has perfect timing. And I also do believe that a guy does have to make a move. But…. I don’t think those are defining of what love is in any way. Or a good lover choosing system. That’s not how God works. I’m not gonna pretend that I’m a love expert, or even a God expert.
But do think I know what God says about a bride and bridegroom. Years ago, and I mean really many years ago, I believe God instituted arranged marriage. It can’t possibly be a perfect system, because we people aren’t perfect. And letting people decide who you love? Uggh… Gives you the shivers huh? But that’s because people’s view of ‘freedom’ is so distorted now. Everything is all about ‘self’ now. That’s why we always ask people not to ‘judge’ us; because we’re ‘supposed’ to be making mistakes. Seriously, there are a lot of flaws with that view. Anyways, as I was saying, marriage used to be arranged. But, here’s the thing. I would actually agree with that system for a few reasons.
One thing about the arranged marriage that I totally whole-heartedly believe in is that both the bride and groom doesn’t use their time to ‘look’ and ‘test’ people out, but instead uses their time and energy to PREPARE themselves for when the time comes. Some of you agree that we have to be ready. A lot of us have had break-ups because we weren’t ready. But one thing you don’t see, is that, the only way we can BE ready, is to READY ourselves. NOT by trying out, or testing people. Or ‘experiencing love’. You know, breaking up really uses up a lot of energy and emotions, and we also use time to recover.
I know that I have to be responsible to be ready when the TIME comes. The type of girl I want to marry is one who has spent her life preparing to be married to the bridegroom who has spent his life preparing to be married to that type of girl. And I can’t marry her if I’m not ready can I? Time is annoying. We can’t control it. We can’t go back in time. We can’t linger in the present. And we can’t see what is to come. Worse thing about time though? We’ve figured it all out, Seriously, but we still act as though we have no idea how time works. We make the same mistakes. We try to capture the moment. AND We don’t prepare ourselves for what is to come. Man, we humans are dumb. The best thing I can give my future spouse, is the best of me. Edges roughed. Smart. Experienced. Able. Close to God. I want to be on an adventure that I can bring her with me. I want to be able to be lead by God easily so that I can lead her. I want to be the best me so I can give her the best love. I don’t want the best her to ‘fit’ me and ‘match’ me and to ‘love me in all my weaknesses…’ and blah blah blah.
Since I mentioned ‘testing’ people out earlier, I have one thing to say. This dating culture is a really self glorifying system. It’s all about ‘ME’. And how I can find what’s good for me. I mean, okay, it is good to search for what’s good for us, and what fills that emptiness in our hearts. But we’re searching for it in all the wrong places. And the world is telling us that they’ve figured it out, but their solution to love drives people down foxholes. Foxholes where both parties get hurt and scarred and weak and in need of recovery. And then, the world provides a solution for recovery that drives people down even deeper foxholes that do the same thing. Sigh. I’m sorry if my post isn’t really getting anywhere. Let me try to explain. Being so obsessed with self is really bad for health. Mentally, emotionally, physically and even spiritually. It makes us make all sorts of bad decisions, that we’ll regret later. Problem with the world today, we don’t know we’re obsessed with ourselves, because it’s the norm. Hmmm. Ask me why I think this next time we meet. So, let’s take the ‘me’ out of dating, and I think dating can be a super good thing. Whatever we do, love. Not expect love. But give. That’ll make any one on one time a really lovely place to be.
In fact, if I was charged to arrange the marriage of my child, I would like him or her, to actually go out on dates with this potential in law. Because the centered attention time does open people up in ways that group activities can’t. And well, I would actually like my daughter’s view of this gentleman, before I hand her over to be wed. But here’s another thing I like about the arranged marriage system. Is that the parent is the one who does the filtering of who has a chance and who doesn’t. This saves a lot of emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual damage for the likes of you and me. Seriously, if I had a girl at the age of 16 who told me I didn’t know anything about love, I would consider sending her to a logic therapist. Just because an adult didn’t go through what you’re going through, doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand the danger of what you’re doing. All adults have friends who have fallen into the same temptation, trouble, or, well… love… that you are facing. And if that isn’t enough, they can actually give an out of the box, logical, mature point of view. Youth now don’t want to trust parents or teachers or pastors, sometimes just adults in general. They feel that the ‘generational gap’ keeps the two sides from seeing at eye level. Well, this ‘generational gap’ is actually what keeps the youth dumb and the adults saying ‘I told you so’. If I was charged with the marriage of my son, I would make a list of qualities I’d want to see in that girl, and actually keep to that list. Most of us have lists already. And these lists are always pretty spot on with what should be. But… we never remember that list, do we? It’s good to have an adult or two we can trust to keep us in check. And also keep us alive, emotionally.
Also, on another level. If I did a good job preparing myself for marriage, and if my parents were good parents, protecting me and teaching me good ways, I’m sure lots of parents would want their daughters to be candidates for a spouse eh? And if you took to loving instead of looking for love, the candidates themselves would come to you too. I’m serious, that’s the logic of nature.
So, prepare yourself for your bride or bridegroom. Time can be your friend. Let love be an outward action, not an expectation. You can trust adults, especially those who gave up their lives to love you even before having a single clue about who you are or how you’d turn out.
I personally think God’s system sound a lot more logical than the world’s ’emotional’ ‘selfish’ system (You can disagree of course, this is personal opinion). Love has never been about emotions. Emotion is just the dessert. So it should come afterwards. Not before. And it should make the meal taste wonderful and complete. Not kill the taste even before it starts. Okay fine, that’s not a 100% an accurate analogy, because surely there is emotion throughout the friendship/courtship/marriage course. But I hope you know what I mean about not letting emotion be the main meal or the reason for a love relationship.
Anyways. My dad asked me to sleep. I know right.
To close, I shall make a dry toast. Dry, because I have no liquid to drink with. But a toast nonetheless.
Here’s to you, my lady to whom I may have the honor of marrying one day. I do not have a clue who you are. But I believe Time is my friend, and that he’ll whisper your name to me when God lets him.
Heck, I think he’ll whisper to my parents, mentors, and spiritual buddies too, just in case.
Thanks God for teaching me to trust people to judge me. Because they are also the ones who will judge me well, and judge well of me.
I wish I had more time to blog. But of course, I actually do. Just that there’s so much distractions people like me have. I have all sorts of family related things to do. As well as friends related. Ministry related. And sometimes work related things, even when it’s not working hours. Let’s add one more ‘thing’ list which is the living; sleeping, eating, reading, flossing, and sleeping… who has time to exercise? The worse thing is that I sacrifice a lot of my time doing entertainment related things. Like my comics, handphone gaming, computer gaming, and catching up with movies.
Life didn’t have so much ‘stuff’ back then. I’d like to live in those times.
What happened to living? We’ve put so much emphasis and priority on entertainment that we don’t even know our lives are being stolen by things that don’t make us better, but more hungry and feeling less than we already were. It’s a trend in this generation. Entertainment has become the default lifestyle.
Technology helped us advance so much in the past short few years. Technology brought us the Information Age. But the Information Age has expired.
Welcome to the Entertainment Age
Dear,
Sometimes, just take some time out.
Silence.
Time.
Heal.
Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
i hope you like my title for today.
as you can tell.
i think we as human beings tend to focus alot on love and relationship.
is that a good thing or bad thing?
answer.
it is in fact a super good thing.
but wait, you think i was going to talk about how focusing on love and relationship so much can make u an emo person and ruin your life?
that is also true.
but we have to.
we’ve been built this way.
Fact #1
God built us for 1 purpose:
LOVE & RELATIONSHIP.
if you ask someone what life is about
or what defines their life
it prolly goes back to what they love doing, who they love, and who & what they associate with.
love and relationship.
family, job, friends, and beliefs.
of course, they dont CALL it a love & a relationship.
its just life.
basic.
most people equate love and relationship as boyfriend-girlfriend-spouse-husband-wife relationship.
it DOES make sense for us to love this topic and this train of thought so much,
because it touches us deep inside.
we all want it.
we all crave for it.
we just love being loved.
because we were made this way.
Problem #1
The Devil wants us to think that LOVE means “relationship with that special ONE man or woman.”
what happened to love being how we put up with our family?
what happened to love being the reason why we help our neighbors?
what happened to love being the reason we just feel compassionate for the needy?
what happened to love being the reason why we took that job?
what happened to love being sharing even when we are in need?
what happened to love being forgiveness and acceptance?
what happened to love being about pride in our family even when there are disagreements?
what happened to love being the bond between best friends?
what happened to love being the reason we are alive?
what happened to GOD’s Definition of love?
HE IS LOVE.
He created us to love Him and love those around us.
not just give focus on that one person.
no.
that is immature.
thats not what life is about.
one man or woman you decide to marry.
oh all my focus and life will be dedicated to you.
that sounds nice bro.
but God created us to have a greater life purpose than just that.
we seriously put so much passion and time and devotion and thought and energy into this love stuff.
wanna know why?
Fact #2 (that is basically a repeat of Fact #1)
We were BORN to put so much passion and time and devotion and thought and energy into this love stuff.
we love thinking about these things. and we should.
God created us this way.
all the devil needs to do is divert our attention on what we love.
(When we focus on that over God, it becomes idolatry: Mr devils #1 weapon of mass destruction)
its so easy.
what do we love?
its so easy for us to focus on loving our spouse or potential spouse
(because thats what the devil is telling us to focus on)
so easy to give it so much attention.
the devil is saying:
you prolly dont get enough love and attention that you should at home,
look at what drama and books are saying.
they all say the same thing. and if they say the same thing, its prolly true eh?
so where do the books and movies and drama tell us love is?
love is in that cute guy over there.
he’ll treat me right.
acceptance is in that cute girl over there.
she gives me happy tinglings when i talk to her.
feeling loved just like in the movies makes me excited!
The devil tells us that’s what love is.
AUTOMATICALLY, we will pursue love (we were born that way remember?).
we just need a gentle nudging.
the devil knows that.
he knows all the right buttons.
Problem #2
By that time we have given it too much Unnecessary attention and passion,
we’d be too worn out to care and love other things.
tell me if you did this today:
did you think about the lost?
did you think about the people who had no opportunity for studies?
did you think about how you can be a better son or daughter?
did you think about just being a better person for people around you?
did you think about being a good christian?
did you think about having a holy life to make God happy?
did you think about that girl that is soooo interestingly beautiful and you just cant put your finger on why she attracts you so much even though you’ve been telling people that that sort of girl is not your type?
i tell you the truth.
i’m guilty of spending too much time and energy thinking about girls that could potentially be my spouse.
Exercise #1
Find out what you’ve been thinking about, planning, and getting all excited over all day today, yesterday, the day before that, and most of the time for as long as you remember.
That may very well have become your idol.
As A Conclusion:
i call this topic of “love with a man or woman for marriage”, BGR.
Boy/Girl Relationship.
i dont call it LOVE or RELATIONSHIP.
sure BGR is a category under LOVE & RELATIONSHIP.
but love and relationship is so so much more than just that.
its a great conversational topic.
i love it in fact!
i really do.
but i think its really unhealthy to be dwelling on it too much.
we love this topic because it is our passion.
sure.
but we have to develop our other passions as well.
like a love and relationship with our parents, siblings, children, cousins, friends, best friends, acquaintances, colleagues, neighbors, classmates, the poor, the sick, our government, its ministers, the foreigners, the illegal immigrants, and most importantly, JESUS.
my hope for you from today onwards is that you be on the watch.
be watchful for the subtle lies of the enemy.
the gentle nudges that make us feel good and feel right and feel loved.
check it against the word of God.
LOVE is a big word.
Relationship is a big word.
we were created for a relationship with God and with people around us.
not JUST that one person.
also one last note.
is what your boyfriend doing to you called love?
is being accepted by your friends even if they ask you to do stupid things called love?
is the way your parents treat you called love?
want to find out what love REALLY is?
Movies, drama, books have it all wrong bro.
find out in the bible.
all the answers are there.
There is hope. We can be fixed. 